Solar Eclipses can symbolize the inevitable and fleeting nature of change in life.
We should reflect on these changes and know that life is to be explored.
Be still and have faith; there is more that life has to offer.
We should reflect on these changes and know that life is to be explored.
Be still and have faith; there is more that life has to offer.
I couldn’t tell you when I started looking forward to the day I would graduate, but I can say it’s been a long time since the thought began permeating my every thought. I’m finally closer to the finish line. Finally. But…I can’t say that the only feelings I have are positive. There are a lot of things that, looking back, I wish I could’ve done. Moreso, things I wish I hadn’t done. Ultimately, that’s why the end is called “the end”, right? When a story ends, you can’t help but go back through the pages to give yourself one last quick look before moving on and seeing things you’d previously missed. The four years I’ve spent here at Brooks have been unforgettable, to say the least. The silly drama, the fun, the parties, the games—I’ll miss it all. I’ll miss the youthfulness of it all as I face the reality of adulthood.
Thank You for Being a Friend
Friends have made high school so much easier to live through. My friends have been so amazing to me when I’ve felt like I’ve been slacking. And even in those times, they didn’t judge me for it. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have friends who can be there for good and bad times, friends who can holdtake tough conversations, and even friends who I can rely on for homework answers. I definitely am not the best at communicating, am sarcastic, and have a subtle awkwardness that makes me seem distant, so I know I’m a tough personality. That being said, thanks for being my friends. I literally wouldn’t have made it without you all.
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I’ve made so many friends in the last four years. Too many. And I’m completely fine with saying I don’t still have all those friends. I’ve grown apart from ‘best friends’, lost contact with friends I thought would be like siblings to me as we got older, and, honestly, just stopped talking to some people out of simple disinterest or for other random, inexcusable reasons. When I was younger, I would tell my friends, “You’re my friend, no matter what. No matter how many years we go without talking to each other or seeing each other.” And while that was definitely a cute and idealistic thing to say, I’ve grown up enough to tell y’all that I take that back.
Now, don’t start doubting my loyalty to my relationships or anything—I’m not knocking the entire message. I just want to tweak it a little. While I don’t think it’s unreasonable to feel that strongly for a person, I think it’s undeniable that people can grow apart. Nothing is set in stone, even friendships. Still, have hope: All friends don’t last forever, but they can last a long time.
There will also be people who won’t get close to you past surface-level interactions, and that’s okay. Don’t let that stop you from opening yourself up to others. Throughout the years, I have enjoyed all my friendships: the seasonals, the annuals, and the fatefuls. Being open, being as vulnerable as possible, and being me allowed me to be okay with people coming in and out of my life. I just love them while they’re here.
Now, don’t start doubting my loyalty to my relationships or anything—I’m not knocking the entire message. I just want to tweak it a little. While I don’t think it’s unreasonable to feel that strongly for a person, I think it’s undeniable that people can grow apart. Nothing is set in stone, even friendships. Still, have hope: All friends don’t last forever, but they can last a long time.
There will also be people who won’t get close to you past surface-level interactions, and that’s okay. Don’t let that stop you from opening yourself up to others. Throughout the years, I have enjoyed all my friendships: the seasonals, the annuals, and the fatefuls. Being open, being as vulnerable as possible, and being me allowed me to be okay with people coming in and out of my life. I just love them while they’re here.
Tea and Things
I’m also very fortunate to not have been at the center of any serious drama. Just some minor arguments between friends that definitely didn’t feel minor at the moment. But when I compare it to some of the other things I’ve heard and seen happen at Brooks…Sheesh. That’s all I’ll say about that. Besides, the drama did give some spice to dull A and B days when we sat in class talking about the same old mess. We need a little entertainment in this education prison from time to time….Just don’t put me on the stage to entertain (lol). I don’t have the energy...
I’m also very fortunate to not have been at the center of any serious drama. Just some minor arguments between friends that definitely didn’t feel minor at the moment. But when I compare it to some of the other things I’ve heard and seen happen at Brooks…Sheesh. That’s all I’ll say about that. Besides, the drama did give some spice to dull A and B days when we sat in class talking about the same old mess. We need a little entertainment in this education prison from time to time….Just don’t put me on the stage to entertain (lol). I don’t have the energy...
Parties and Games
I’ve never been the kid who was super socially active outside of school, no matter how much I wanted to be that kid. I won’t be too extreme in my explanation, but to say I've been sheltered growing up would be an understatement. I do not know how to party or hang. I’ve gotten better this year, but the first few parties of my high school career were, personally, painfully awkward on a mental level. I’m not “anti”-social at all, but in my head, I’ve always been this loser who doesn’t know how to naturally maintain friendships outside of a classroom. So, imagine what effect that had on my social life…
I’ve had so many moments of just feeling lesser because I wasn’t invited to things—because I wasn’t considered—that it had a serious impact on my mental health. However, in reality, I didn’t really have time for outings…and I knew that. The feeling of being outcasted was still there, though, and it honestly was more painful because it was unintentional. I felt easy to forget among all the events happening around me, and feeling that way about myself did not go well.
I won’t say that my entire high school social life was a bust. I did get invited to more events starting at the end of Junior year. And even though I was busy with work, school, and clubs, I made it to three school sports games and we won the last one I went to: the football team's homecoming game in 2023. I was so happy. I regret not opening myself up sooner since I’m at the end of my Senior year, but I’m glad I didn’t let the door stay shut forever. (There is no way I’ve gotten the party out of my system.) In the future, I’ll be more open to new experiences and not let the weight of life hold me down.
I’ve had so many moments of just feeling lesser because I wasn’t invited to things—because I wasn’t considered—that it had a serious impact on my mental health. However, in reality, I didn’t really have time for outings…and I knew that. The feeling of being outcasted was still there, though, and it honestly was more painful because it was unintentional. I felt easy to forget among all the events happening around me, and feeling that way about myself did not go well.
I won’t say that my entire high school social life was a bust. I did get invited to more events starting at the end of Junior year. And even though I was busy with work, school, and clubs, I made it to three school sports games and we won the last one I went to: the football team's homecoming game in 2023. I was so happy. I regret not opening myself up sooner since I’m at the end of my Senior year, but I’m glad I didn’t let the door stay shut forever. (There is no way I’ve gotten the party out of my system.) In the future, I’ll be more open to new experiences and not let the weight of life hold me down.
FOOD!!!
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I can’t say that my relationship with food and my weight has always been…healthy, for lack of better words. I’ve struggled with the state of my self-image not seeming to match the rapid development of my body for most of my childhood, but high school hasn’t made it any easier to deal with. I’ve felt self-conscious eating around others because I felt it made me look fat. I’ve resisted buying clothes I didn’t like because I felt they didn’t suit someone of my size. There are honestly so many things I could tell you that I hated about my body, but the best part of going through all of that has been moving on from it.
Although I still want to work on my weight for my health and self-satisfaction, I can say that I don’t hate myself for my size anymore. Plus, I will definitely eat a two-serving meal if I want to and if I’m that hungry without feeling bad. And don’t you dare ask me for some because I’m not too embarrassed to eat it all by myself. Overall, I can say that I’ve worn out my hate and started working on acceptance. I’ve started putting in real effort to change myself, rather than just sulk and eat my sorrows away. I think that’s progress, don’t you?
Although I still want to work on my weight for my health and self-satisfaction, I can say that I don’t hate myself for my size anymore. Plus, I will definitely eat a two-serving meal if I want to and if I’m that hungry without feeling bad. And don’t you dare ask me for some because I’m not too embarrassed to eat it all by myself. Overall, I can say that I’ve worn out my hate and started working on acceptance. I’ve started putting in real effort to change myself, rather than just sulk and eat my sorrows away. I think that’s progress, don’t you?
Due Date is Morse Code for...Um...
Nothing, and I mean nothing, could have prepared me for Brooks's curriculum. And I don’t just mean the difficulty of the work, it's the sheer amount the teachers assign. I swear, in Freshman year, teachers had to have felt like they were the only class that existed because I’d get 6 big assignments from one class in three days. Even more so after taking a Dual Enrollment class, I couldn’t help but think, “Are these teachers preparing us for war or something?” A small glimpse of what college would be like let me know that there’s no way in hell that high school is less difficult than college. I’ll let someone say it’s even-matched, but in my opinion, high school is rougher all around. As I said, it’s both the difficulty and the amount of work that’s overwhelming, but if you take the hormones, the social hierarchies, and the smell…Oh God, the smell….It’s just worse I don’t know what to tell you. So, with all that in mind, and the fact that we have SEVERAL classes like that, how can anyone get all their work done? Not making excuses for the people who don’t even try, but you can’t deny the laboriousness of it all. And that goes into my next topic.
How do teachers expect students not to be tempted to find ways to cheat? The late nights doing essays, lunch periods that aren’t even lunch periods because you don’t get to eat, and the homework that gets done in class…This is impossible to deal with on a consistent basis through normal means. And the more they block websites and restrict access to certain resources, we get smarter. Copying and pasting is so easy to hide now that it can be hard to find if a student cheated using an AI bot without using an AI bot yourself. And if you copy off of a friend, all you have to do is paraphrase it yourself or use a paraphrasing tool on the web. If you put pressure on someone, they will find a way to adapt to survive. That’s just the way it goes. We all know it.
How do teachers expect students not to be tempted to find ways to cheat? The late nights doing essays, lunch periods that aren’t even lunch periods because you don’t get to eat, and the homework that gets done in class…This is impossible to deal with on a consistent basis through normal means. And the more they block websites and restrict access to certain resources, we get smarter. Copying and pasting is so easy to hide now that it can be hard to find if a student cheated using an AI bot without using an AI bot yourself. And if you copy off of a friend, all you have to do is paraphrase it yourself or use a paraphrasing tool on the web. If you put pressure on someone, they will find a way to adapt to survive. That’s just the way it goes. We all know it.
Work and Passions
Art has been and always will be part of my life. So many sketchbooks full and drawings with no dates and so many notebooks with doodles and no notes. All the times I’ve been in trouble with teachers for not paying attention and sketching away…all of that, for me to not even be drawing consistently anymore. I’ve been throwing confessions and life lessons around this whole article, but this…I thought this would be my life. I grew up an artist. People always told me that I’d grow up to be a wealthy painter and live a grand life, but the closest people to me now probably don’t even remember I draw without a refresh. Losing interest in a passion that I’ve held on to for so many years and fed into every single day was hard. It’s still hard. But growing up means finding new interests. Like I said, art will always be a part of my life. I started writing, I took on visual art ASM jobs when I could…and, with no pressure, I draw from time to time. The art I make now is less of a goal to be better and more of a medium to make me feel better. I would mimic YouTube artists, trying to find my own style, but now, my art is solely for me.
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Going back to the briefly touched-upon topic of ASM programs, I worked a lot during high school. And my version of ‘a lot’ may not be that for you; however, as the only person who has to be with me on a 24/7 basis, it was a lot. I tried art jobs to keep my hobby of drawing alive as long as I could. But then, I realized that if I pressured myself to draw and had to deal with school, that wouldn’t leave me in a healthy state mentally. I was experiencing burnout and lying to my bosses, saying I had a cold or my computer was broken and I couldn’t join a Google Meet. So, during the summer going into my Junior Year, I tried something different: a summer camp! Now, I just said it all excitedly, but it was really tough. Hindsight, I’d do it again. But while I was doing it, most days I was just distracting myself by participating in the activities I came up with or I was staring at the clock for the end of my shift. It was fun, thrilling, painful, annoying, stressful, eye-opening, and fulfilling…The experience of working with those kids and my boss was all of those feelings for me. It made me realize that a job doesn’t have to be something you like all the time, but a job must fulfill you. That summer camp internship made me more open to different revenue streams. It made me realize that I don’t have to be just an artist. Being an artist doesn’t feel like my entire identity anymore.
Loss: The Reality of Getting Older with Everyone Else
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Junior year was rough. There were major life changes that I went through, the death of my grandfather being one. I never thought that the man who was on the stage with me as I graduated 8th grade during the pandemic—my granddaddy—wouldn’t be able to make it to my high school graduation. If I even tried to tell my younger self this, I’d look at me as if I was crazy for even saying something like that. I thought my granddaddy would live to see my third kid or something. I thought he’d live till I was close to my thirties. I never thought he’d die when I was 16. Never. He just didn’t seem like the type. Lots of my family members had what you would call major health issues, and they’re still doing fine. I often thought, why did pancreatic cancer have to take him? Why my granddaddy? And out of all the cancers he could have had and survived, why did the die roll on one of the most terminal ones? But losing him helped me grow in a way. You can say that growth happens in people who grieve the passing of their loved ones. You have to be strong to move on, and that’s what he raised me to be. I know he’s watching me, and he’s probably laughing at some of the stuff I put in this article. I know he’s proud, and I know he’ll continue to be as I walk the stage.
Teachers: Our School Parents
I’ve always grown up thinking that teachers are my ‘school parents’, especially since I see them more hours of the day than I see my mom. Becoming a young adult also came with me building values and standards—standards that a few of my teachers have failed to meet. Knowing that I won’t let myself be treated like a child and that I also can’t expect them to see me as a full adult, I’ve looked for connections with teachers who can accept me for me. Now, they’re not really ranked but just listen to me yap about my favorites.
The first one up is Ms. Plunkett. I’ve had my personal tiffs about her, but that lady is someone I can trust. I can talk to her about whatever is bothering me and she’ll listen. I don’t have to like someone all the time to love them, and I love Ms. Plunkett. It’s been fun having her as my homeroom teacher. All the fun projects and assignments and the signing days…It almost makes me cry thinking that I’ll be having my signing day soon.
The next one up is Mr. Ejzak, and I think we all saw it coming. Best English teacher ever. I miss the 3C lunches in his room and everyone would hang out and have fun. I’ve wanted to be in his class again since the moment I left. Mr. Ejzak has been a teacher, a school dad, and a friend all at once. I’ll miss him for real after graduation.
Third, Mr. Kosteris, or “Mr. K” as I call him. Another school dad who lets me hang in his room whenever I want. No matter what I’m dealing with or how bad of a mood I’m in, I know Mr. K will let me in his class and I can have some peace from it all.
Fourth on the list is Mr. Mullooly. Now, I can definitely say I never expected to be in a Microeconomics class. Also can’t say I’ll remember anything once all this is finally over. But he was super influential to me this year. He taught me a life skill, lesson, and career all in one.
Fifth is Ms. Yackee. I love Ms. Yackee, and I don’t care if anyone feels she has an attitude—she does and you deserve it. She’s fun, funny, and intelligent. She’s been a huge support, no matter what she’s going through throughout the day. Being in her class felt like being completely immersed in a talking Psychology encyclopedia that also…happens to be, like, 2% Ethiopian? Okay, I’ll stop dragging that inside joke out and just say thank you. Thank you to all of my favorites. Thank you to my beloved teachers I didn’t mention because this Google Doc is already 7 pages by now.
And thank you to Mr. Abubakar. I love you, even though you constantly failed me or gave me average grades, Mr. Abubakar. I hope you’re happy and healthy.<3
Requiem for the Ending of an Epic Journey
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These four years have been like riding on a rollercoaster that rolls on wood planks, has no end, and has hundreds of booby traps. It has been a JOURNEY. A wild one. Still, I’m grateful. Grateful to have survived through it, yes, but also grateful for the changes it’s brought. I’m grateful for the maturing I’ve done. I’m grateful for the people who have helped me when I didn’t know how to ask for help. For the people who supported me through the death and craziness in my life. I’m grateful for my family and the family I’m reconnecting with now. I’m grateful for the lack of social drama, the good friends, the good teachers, and, oh my God, those good grades. Man, thank you for them grades, y’all, seriously. I thought I wasn’t gonna make it after Freshman year. Anyway, I’d like to close off by saying thank you for reading my vulnerable reflection on my life. I can’t say I’m completely ready to move on from high school, but I want to. I need to. And I have the courage to move forward. This has been amazing, guys, but I’m off to my next journey.
Peyton Henderson-howell
