What hardships have you faced as a female?
“An obvious one: Hypersexualization of the body, That's why I like to wear baggy jeans.”
“It's stressful to have to feel like you have to live up to a certain image, especially when it comes to being young. There are a lot of labels on us. Having a boyfriend, for example. You get looked down upon if you hop from one guy to the next; you're called a hoe.”
“Being talked down to because of my body because my body does not fit the stereotype of how a woman should look. Especially as a black woman. You’re seen as supposed to be ‘thick’: big boobs, big butt, but I’m skinny and muscular. I became insecure about that because I was always called a little boy, and as a girl, I don’t like that.”
“There are expectations that you have to have a husband. Growing up, my family expected me to be cooking and cleaning because I have to be prepared to cook for the family, instead of it being for a life skill. Also, I feel comfortable in the clothes I wear, but some people may not. They feel that I’m showing too much skin and that I have to be mindful. It’s an unconscious thing. You don’t really think about it, but it’s in the back of your mind because of what society says. Especially at gas stations. . .when you’re dressed up, you feel uncomfortable going out because people will try to talk to you and you’re not in the mood to talk. You’re just trying to pump your gas. Since women are a marginalized community, though, there is that tight closeness we have sometimes, because we can relate through our struggles. That’s a pro about being a woman.”
“An obvious one: Hypersexualization of the body, That's why I like to wear baggy jeans.”
“It's stressful to have to feel like you have to live up to a certain image, especially when it comes to being young. There are a lot of labels on us. Having a boyfriend, for example. You get looked down upon if you hop from one guy to the next; you're called a hoe.”
“Being talked down to because of my body because my body does not fit the stereotype of how a woman should look. Especially as a black woman. You’re seen as supposed to be ‘thick’: big boobs, big butt, but I’m skinny and muscular. I became insecure about that because I was always called a little boy, and as a girl, I don’t like that.”
“There are expectations that you have to have a husband. Growing up, my family expected me to be cooking and cleaning because I have to be prepared to cook for the family, instead of it being for a life skill. Also, I feel comfortable in the clothes I wear, but some people may not. They feel that I’m showing too much skin and that I have to be mindful. It’s an unconscious thing. You don’t really think about it, but it’s in the back of your mind because of what society says. Especially at gas stations. . .when you’re dressed up, you feel uncomfortable going out because people will try to talk to you and you’re not in the mood to talk. You’re just trying to pump your gas. Since women are a marginalized community, though, there is that tight closeness we have sometimes, because we can relate through our struggles. That’s a pro about being a woman.”
Who is a woman that you look up to? Why?
“Cher. She's a fashion icon and love her personality.”
“My grandma because she gives me advice all the time that my mom doesn't give me. As far as her job, as follows her dreams. She told me that she wanted to be a journalist when she was younger, but didn't have the resources. Now she writes articles online. From older people, you get wisdom that you wouldn't be able to get from a friend. She's also Christian, so she's able to be that Christian mentor I need.”
“It would be my mother. Because of the conflict in the Ukraine, I realized how much my mother went through, escaping from the Russians in Hungary and walking across Europe in order to feel safe. And I'm really just realizing how difficult that was for her and the courage it took to do it.”
“Cher. She's a fashion icon and love her personality.”
“My grandma because she gives me advice all the time that my mom doesn't give me. As far as her job, as follows her dreams. She told me that she wanted to be a journalist when she was younger, but didn't have the resources. Now she writes articles online. From older people, you get wisdom that you wouldn't be able to get from a friend. She's also Christian, so she's able to be that Christian mentor I need.”
“It would be my mother. Because of the conflict in the Ukraine, I realized how much my mother went through, escaping from the Russians in Hungary and walking across Europe in order to feel safe. And I'm really just realizing how difficult that was for her and the courage it took to do it.”
What does femininity look like to you?
“That's so hard to answer. I don't want to say that it's being girly, because that's not how everyone is. Femininity to me looks like having self-worth, being confident and caring.”
“Strength, courage, standing up for others who may not be able to stand up for themselves, and self-awareness.”
“That's so hard to answer. I don't want to say that it's being girly, because that's not how everyone is. Femininity to me looks like having self-worth, being confident and caring.”
“Strength, courage, standing up for others who may not be able to stand up for themselves, and self-awareness.”
What's one piece of advice you’d like to give the ladies?
“Whatever you're stressed about right now, it doesn't matter. It sounds harsh, but a lot of people relax when they hear it. In the long run, it doesn't matter.”
“Build a foundation in knowing who you are and all the qualities about you -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is an unshakable foundation. People will try to tell you who you are, but you will know yourself. Also, be graceful when storms come. When you handle them with grace, you gain perseverance and a good character. If you handle it with grace, you will see the fruits of your labor.”
“Be true to yourself. Stand up for your morals and values at all times.”
“Focus on yourself. Stop chasing these men -- little boys, they’re not even men. Education is first, prioritize yourself, and make sure you have your self-care days. Education is first!”
Bonus: an embarrassing story for the ladies to relate to?
“When I first got my period, I didn't know that you couldn't flush a pad down a toilet. I did. It flooded. To this day, I still don't know if they found out it was me.”
“In 7th grade, I was in history class and wanted to be helpful. I was reaching up to put books on a bookcase, a pad in my pocket. Then the pad falls out of my pocket. I chose to ignore it, tears in my eyes. Everyone saw it. So, I step on it and ask the class, “Can y'all look the other way. The teacher's teaching!" A girl turned and said to me, "Girl please!" My teacher then comes over and plays it off, picking it up, saying, "Oh that's mine, she was holding on to it for me.” She took me out into the hallway and hugged me as I cried.”
“Freshman year, I used to be the type of person who liked showing cleavage. I was wearing this shirt, right, and I was at the gym moving around. I flashed a couple of girls in the locker room. It was okay that it was in the locker room, but it was very. . .ooh chile.”
“Whatever you're stressed about right now, it doesn't matter. It sounds harsh, but a lot of people relax when they hear it. In the long run, it doesn't matter.”
“Build a foundation in knowing who you are and all the qualities about you -- the good, the bad, and the ugly. That is an unshakable foundation. People will try to tell you who you are, but you will know yourself. Also, be graceful when storms come. When you handle them with grace, you gain perseverance and a good character. If you handle it with grace, you will see the fruits of your labor.”
“Be true to yourself. Stand up for your morals and values at all times.”
“Focus on yourself. Stop chasing these men -- little boys, they’re not even men. Education is first, prioritize yourself, and make sure you have your self-care days. Education is first!”
Bonus: an embarrassing story for the ladies to relate to?
“When I first got my period, I didn't know that you couldn't flush a pad down a toilet. I did. It flooded. To this day, I still don't know if they found out it was me.”
“In 7th grade, I was in history class and wanted to be helpful. I was reaching up to put books on a bookcase, a pad in my pocket. Then the pad falls out of my pocket. I chose to ignore it, tears in my eyes. Everyone saw it. So, I step on it and ask the class, “Can y'all look the other way. The teacher's teaching!" A girl turned and said to me, "Girl please!" My teacher then comes over and plays it off, picking it up, saying, "Oh that's mine, she was holding on to it for me.” She took me out into the hallway and hugged me as I cried.”
“Freshman year, I used to be the type of person who liked showing cleavage. I was wearing this shirt, right, and I was at the gym moving around. I flashed a couple of girls in the locker room. It was okay that it was in the locker room, but it was very. . .ooh chile.”
Happy Women’s History month!
MAYA BANKS
