One thing that I've kept in mind throughout my adolescents is that all relationships aren't meant to last. This applies to friendships, family, and acquaintances. I can't lie, there have been times I'd put myself in uncomfortable positions just because I was afraid to let go of someone. And even if I were to put those times aside, I know this applies to the people around me as well. You can try your best to be vocal about what you do and don't like, but if you let someone take advantage of the trust within your relationship, there will be no change.
This isn't inherent behavior; this is something that we grow to learn. Let's think about things this way…how many times have you put your feelings aside for family? The youth tend to have so much love and loyalty to our caregivers and those related by blood because that's the first group of individuals we are usually surrounded with. We ignore blatant disrespect just because it's done by an aunt. We try to ignore the confined mindsets and ideals that we hear at gatherings because “that's how they are”. We attempt to laugh off the scars from the amount of backstabbing we've experienced because we convince ourselves family can never have hate in their heart. This is the beginning of toleration.
This isn't inherent behavior; this is something that we grow to learn. Let's think about things this way…how many times have you put your feelings aside for family? The youth tend to have so much love and loyalty to our caregivers and those related by blood because that's the first group of individuals we are usually surrounded with. We ignore blatant disrespect just because it's done by an aunt. We try to ignore the confined mindsets and ideals that we hear at gatherings because “that's how they are”. We attempt to laugh off the scars from the amount of backstabbing we've experienced because we convince ourselves family can never have hate in their heart. This is the beginning of toleration.
Now when it comes to friends, you'd assume cutting someone off would be easier. But if we try to create a new family to make up for what genealogy could not supply, we have even more patience when it comes to their mistakes. We assume that we can simply speak up and these behaviors will change, but they never do. We assume that trying to work around their antics will end in tranquility even though it really leads to years of exhaustion. Eventually, we are left with two choices: leave or suck it up. Thankfully I've learned to let go of people and habits that no longer serve me, but I'm aware this isn't the case for everyone. Between the dependency and inconsistency my age group experiences, it's not shocking that it could take years for the majority to end up in healthy relationships. This isn’t a one-sided issue either; you need to be held accountable for your faults as well. You are a product of your environment. Even when you think your household or experiences have not affected you, they shine through your behavior and reactions. It doesn't make you a bad person, but if you spend your entire life running from your faults you won't be able to truly let go or understand why you surround yourself with certain people.
Every relationship isn't supposed to last til death. Every friendship isn't going to make it out of high school. Every family member will not always have your best interest at heart, though they should. Every argument isn't going to be stuck with you for life. This isn't pessimism, this is a reality that we need to stomach in order to grow.
But then again, who am I to say?
Every relationship isn't supposed to last til death. Every friendship isn't going to make it out of high school. Every family member will not always have your best interest at heart, though they should. Every argument isn't going to be stuck with you for life. This isn't pessimism, this is a reality that we need to stomach in order to grow.
But then again, who am I to say?