“Tell me about yourself” has always been a bizarre question to me.
More specifically, I find it strange that such a misleadingly simple sounding question can seem to demand such a complex response. Of course, it asks that the interviewee divulge a select few key points from their life that paint a semi-accurate picture of the entirety of their character, aspirations, and motives. But there’s something more to it, a delicate balance between truth and marketability that forces the subject to walk the line between being completely honest, which feels unmarketable, and embellishing with half-truths and tall tales, which feels like lying.
Take this vague question, throw it onto a still-developing high-school junior with a 650 word limit, and tell them their entire future depends on how well they tell their own story, and you have the perfect storm for a teenage identity crisis.
Though “A Tired Senior’s Guide To Self Reflection” is quite obviously a fictional story, many of the sentiments expressed by the main character toward their writing are very real, all based on my own experiences and those of my close friends. The snippets of essays throughout the story are pulled from my deleted rough drafts (of which there were seven) of my personal statement. Hopefully, this article will help at least one aspiring writer avoid the traps that the main character of the story and I continued to fall into during our respective self-reflective journeys.
More specifically, I find it strange that such a misleadingly simple sounding question can seem to demand such a complex response. Of course, it asks that the interviewee divulge a select few key points from their life that paint a semi-accurate picture of the entirety of their character, aspirations, and motives. But there’s something more to it, a delicate balance between truth and marketability that forces the subject to walk the line between being completely honest, which feels unmarketable, and embellishing with half-truths and tall tales, which feels like lying.
Take this vague question, throw it onto a still-developing high-school junior with a 650 word limit, and tell them their entire future depends on how well they tell their own story, and you have the perfect storm for a teenage identity crisis.
Though “A Tired Senior’s Guide To Self Reflection” is quite obviously a fictional story, many of the sentiments expressed by the main character toward their writing are very real, all based on my own experiences and those of my close friends. The snippets of essays throughout the story are pulled from my deleted rough drafts (of which there were seven) of my personal statement. Hopefully, this article will help at least one aspiring writer avoid the traps that the main character of the story and I continued to fall into during our respective self-reflective journeys.
You Are not (just) your essay
First of all, the title of the project itself, “personal essay,” is misleading. Yes, the essay is about you—and gives colleges a better picture of you—but it doesn’t define who you are. In my humble opinion, this is the single most important thing to remember when approaching the task.
The reason I say this is because when I was writing my own essay, I found myself questioning everything I wrote. It would start with the all too familiar tell me about yourself.
And I’d respond something like: I’m curious, passionate, and caring.
That could be anyone.
Well, for example, I overcame my fear of mushrooms through curiosity.
So you really don’t have anything better to talk about than your fear of mushrooms? You weren’t even that scared of them.
Perhaps that’s a bit of a harsh example, but it illustrates my point nonetheless. You can illustrate a point in your essay without telling your entire life story or using some wild, traumatic experience.
Yes, it sounds very obvious. But considering the way the essay is framed, it’s not too far-fetched. The essay is supposed to represent YOU. But it’s ALSO an advertisement to make colleges want to accept you to their institution. So if you have to talk about your most marketable traits like your curiosity, and your best example is mushrooms, it doesn’t mean the most interesting thing that has happened to you is being scared of mushrooms.
So how should one navigate this strange and confusing assignment?
To answer that, let’s rewind to summer, 2023.
The reason I say this is because when I was writing my own essay, I found myself questioning everything I wrote. It would start with the all too familiar tell me about yourself.
And I’d respond something like: I’m curious, passionate, and caring.
That could be anyone.
Well, for example, I overcame my fear of mushrooms through curiosity.
So you really don’t have anything better to talk about than your fear of mushrooms? You weren’t even that scared of them.
Perhaps that’s a bit of a harsh example, but it illustrates my point nonetheless. You can illustrate a point in your essay without telling your entire life story or using some wild, traumatic experience.
Yes, it sounds very obvious. But considering the way the essay is framed, it’s not too far-fetched. The essay is supposed to represent YOU. But it’s ALSO an advertisement to make colleges want to accept you to their institution. So if you have to talk about your most marketable traits like your curiosity, and your best example is mushrooms, it doesn’t mean the most interesting thing that has happened to you is being scared of mushrooms.
So how should one navigate this strange and confusing assignment?
To answer that, let’s rewind to summer, 2023.
MISTAKE #1
When I started writing my essay, I knew exactly where I wanted to go with it: mushrooms. They were my passion at the time, a solid metaphor for growth, and I had a story to go with it. The story, one I had developed in my English class towards the tail end of my junior year, detailed me stepping on a mushroom, getting scared, and running away. Over time, I became interested in mushrooms, and my curiosity helped me to overcome my fear. So, in summary, traumatic experience leads to growth which leads to achievement, the formula I had seen in pretty much every example essay I had read up to that point. So I slapped on another story of my curiosity and eventual leadership with the BALM, and thought that would be good enough considering how simple the stories of most of the other essays were. And somehow, after months of editing, nothing transitioned well, my stories felt lame and paled in comparison to those that earned people acceptances to prestigious universities.
See the pattern?
My first mistake was comparing my essay to others. ESPECIALLY to samples I found online listed under articles like “Five Personal Statements That Got Admitted to Harvard.” Almost every online guide or graduating senior I took advice from (even some of my teachers) told me to look at essay examples for inspiration. The issue was that these essays set a gold standard, an ideal format for college acceptance in the context of an assignment that cannot be built on an example or template. A typical five paragraph English essay, for example, typically follows a strict format of a list of claims with analysis and evidence to support each of them, without much room for variation. As free as the writer is, there’s still a formula. For the personal essay, the idea is that your essay is fully unique, therefore making template-following useless, if not detrimental.
Which brings me to my first point: the personal essay is NOT a typical English essay, and as such, teaching it as if it were one can discourage writers as soon as they begin to realize that they can’t follow templates or rely on examples.
As a writer, there’s not a whole lot you can do to dictate how your teacher teaches you to write the essay, which means that the teaching and learning tends to fall on you.
See the pattern?
My first mistake was comparing my essay to others. ESPECIALLY to samples I found online listed under articles like “Five Personal Statements That Got Admitted to Harvard.” Almost every online guide or graduating senior I took advice from (even some of my teachers) told me to look at essay examples for inspiration. The issue was that these essays set a gold standard, an ideal format for college acceptance in the context of an assignment that cannot be built on an example or template. A typical five paragraph English essay, for example, typically follows a strict format of a list of claims with analysis and evidence to support each of them, without much room for variation. As free as the writer is, there’s still a formula. For the personal essay, the idea is that your essay is fully unique, therefore making template-following useless, if not detrimental.
Which brings me to my first point: the personal essay is NOT a typical English essay, and as such, teaching it as if it were one can discourage writers as soon as they begin to realize that they can’t follow templates or rely on examples.
As a writer, there’s not a whole lot you can do to dictate how your teacher teaches you to write the essay, which means that the teaching and learning tends to fall on you.
How to teach yourself
When it comes to teaching the personal essay, trial and error is your best friend. Your first draft will not be perfect, it may not even be good; a handful of mine were absolutely awful. The most important thing is that you write. As much as you can think of. Personal experiences, obstacles you’ve overcome, things you’ve learned from teachers, family or friends, summer experiences, passing obsessions, anything that may have shaped you as you are today. You’ll find that you aren’t only creating stories with concepts to build off of, but puzzle pieces you can string together to create different themes, send different messages, and portray different versions of you.
To make this process of mixing and matching a little more controlled, we can set some basic guidelines for the essay to follow. There are three nearly unavoidable elements of personal essay writing to keep in mind as you craft and refine your statement.
With these in mind, it’s all mixing and matching your story to see what works. Allow yourself time to experiment with different themes, especially themes you’re really passionate about and feel have real significance to you beyond the mere experiences.
And my sincerest condolences to the juniors out there who find themselves faced with the daunting task of the personal statement this coming year. At the very least, always remember that somewhere in the world, another teenager just like you is fighting the exact same battle you are. Fight on, and good luck!
To make this process of mixing and matching a little more controlled, we can set some basic guidelines for the essay to follow. There are three nearly unavoidable elements of personal essay writing to keep in mind as you craft and refine your statement.
- Telling a story. Your essay should contain some sort of process. This is usually shown as character development, where the writer is faced with some sort of obstacle that they heroically overcome to become a better version of themselves. But a process can entail a lot of things. My final essay, for example, details the progression of my love-hate relationship with writing over the years. I hated writing because of my poor experiences with it in elementary school, then through creative writing and the school newspaper found my own style and voice, and eventually writing became an inseparable part of my identity. A process can be any anecdote that shows personal change or how your unique persona has caused things to happen around you.
- YOU are the focus. Your personal essay is not your opportunity to suck up to a college and talk about how much you can’t wait to become a part of whatever program (that’s for your supplementals). Unless it’s integral to your story, or a key part of your future plans, keep your discussion of anything college-related to a minimum. Instead, expend your valuable word count on fleshing out YOUR character.
- It’s First and Foremost an Advertisement. This is not to say you should lie about things you’ve done or focus on your dream college and program instead of yourself. Rather, don’t be ashamed to embellish your strengths and brush over any shortcomings in favor of the story. For example, you could admit that you used to struggle with people -pleasing and self-esteem issues, but show that you have grown from that through your passion for performance and have learned to express a more authentic version of yourself. If you feel that the way you introduce a characteristic sounds cocky or ingenuine, you can use process to explain how you got to where you are or personal experiences to show how you use that trait.
With these in mind, it’s all mixing and matching your story to see what works. Allow yourself time to experiment with different themes, especially themes you’re really passionate about and feel have real significance to you beyond the mere experiences.
And my sincerest condolences to the juniors out there who find themselves faced with the daunting task of the personal statement this coming year. At the very least, always remember that somewhere in the world, another teenager just like you is fighting the exact same battle you are. Fight on, and good luck!
Isaiah Pinzino
