Grieving. An unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Unless you are one of the more fortunate ones that has yet to experience it. My grieving process is different from yours because we all go through different things. But what exactly is the grieving process? To sum it up, it’s the way that we deal with the loss of an important person in our lives. It is known to have five stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—but not everyone follows it in that order. Those are just the most common reactions that are seen in people.
I am going to go through each stage and talk about what it is and how the personal experience was for me. This is a sensitive topic for some people, including myself, so please cry at your own risk, and if you feel like I didn’t elaborate on some things, it is because I simply couldn’t bring myself to talk about it.
I am going to go through each stage and talk about what it is and how the personal experience was for me. This is a sensitive topic for some people, including myself, so please cry at your own risk, and if you feel like I didn’t elaborate on some things, it is because I simply couldn’t bring myself to talk about it.
Stage 1: Denial
This is the time when you do not want to accept what is happening. You do not want to accept that you have lost such an important person in your life. It can often be seen that people use denial as a way to protect themselves from the truth of the situation. People do not want to accept the fact that they are having to deal with something new and quite possibly traumatic in their lives. The amount of time that a person stays in this stage is not really known; everyone goes through it at different paces.
I really only experienced this stage for a total of about five minutes. When I found out that my grandpa had passed away, I was walking with my dad. When he told me, I didn’t really want to believe it. I cried in his arms, but the whole time, I never looked up. Once I did, I saw my mom, and that was when it actually hit me that my grandpa was gone. At the same time, I had been preparing for that moment for around a month since he had already been sick for a while.
This is the time when you do not want to accept what is happening. You do not want to accept that you have lost such an important person in your life. It can often be seen that people use denial as a way to protect themselves from the truth of the situation. People do not want to accept the fact that they are having to deal with something new and quite possibly traumatic in their lives. The amount of time that a person stays in this stage is not really known; everyone goes through it at different paces.
I really only experienced this stage for a total of about five minutes. When I found out that my grandpa had passed away, I was walking with my dad. When he told me, I didn’t really want to believe it. I cried in his arms, but the whole time, I never looked up. Once I did, I saw my mom, and that was when it actually hit me that my grandpa was gone. At the same time, I had been preparing for that moment for around a month since he had already been sick for a while.
Stage 2: Anger
Anger can be seen in many different forms within different people. It is often just a way that people show their grief if they don’t know how to feel. It could go hand in hand with denial because the reason why some people become angry is that they do not want to believe that they have lost someone. If their loved one was sick, they could often express their anger and denial by saying that it was a doctor’s fault for not saving the person. Ultimately, anger can be expressed in different ways based on how a person feels.
I don’t think I really went through anger because I expressed my pain by crying with my family and other loved ones. The only way I really expressed it was when I started thinking about the future and realized that my grandpa was not going to be there for the huge milestones that I was going to have in life.
Anger can be seen in many different forms within different people. It is often just a way that people show their grief if they don’t know how to feel. It could go hand in hand with denial because the reason why some people become angry is that they do not want to believe that they have lost someone. If their loved one was sick, they could often express their anger and denial by saying that it was a doctor’s fault for not saving the person. Ultimately, anger can be expressed in different ways based on how a person feels.
I don’t think I really went through anger because I expressed my pain by crying with my family and other loved ones. The only way I really expressed it was when I started thinking about the future and realized that my grandpa was not going to be there for the huge milestones that I was going to have in life.
Stage 3: Bargaining
This is the point in your grieving process when you question what truly happened. You question if there was another way to save your loved one. You keep asking yourself, “Why them? Why couldn’t it be me?” There are so many questions that people begin to ask themselves during this time. Personally, I don’t think I went through this because I never really questioned why it was time for my grandpa to leave. I was already prepared for him to leave at that point.
This is the point in your grieving process when you question what truly happened. You question if there was another way to save your loved one. You keep asking yourself, “Why them? Why couldn’t it be me?” There are so many questions that people begin to ask themselves during this time. Personally, I don’t think I went through this because I never really questioned why it was time for my grandpa to leave. I was already prepared for him to leave at that point.
Stage 4: Depression
This is the worst stage out of all of them. It is the time when you really experience the worst emotion: sadness. People go through this at different paces: some take forever to go through it while others only cry for a bit. This is when you don’t have the motivation for anything because the only thing on your mind is the fact that you lost someone important to you. This is the time when you think that you can't function because everything reminds you of that one person.
My experience with this wasn’t that horrible. Yes, I cried a lot when this happened, but I didn’t let it control my life. I made sure to have my moments, but as my mom says, you have to pick yourself up right after.
This is the worst stage out of all of them. It is the time when you really experience the worst emotion: sadness. People go through this at different paces: some take forever to go through it while others only cry for a bit. This is when you don’t have the motivation for anything because the only thing on your mind is the fact that you lost someone important to you. This is the time when you think that you can't function because everything reminds you of that one person.
My experience with this wasn’t that horrible. Yes, I cried a lot when this happened, but I didn’t let it control my life. I made sure to have my moments, but as my mom says, you have to pick yourself up right after.
Stage 5: Acceptance
This is the fifth and final stage of the whole grieving process. It is the time when you finally accept that you have actually lost someone. This is the stage that can take the longest to go through because no one really knows when they are going to accept the loss of someone. This when the person reflects on their own actions and how they are going to move forward at this difficult point of their life. This is finally the moment when you are ready to let go of all the grief that you had during this process.
I have already accepted the fact that my grandpa is not here anymore. I am already at the point where I can think about the future and not have a mental breakdown over the fact that my grandpa isn’t going to be here for me anymore. I can now say to myself: I have gone through the stages of grief.
This is the fifth and final stage of the whole grieving process. It is the time when you finally accept that you have actually lost someone. This is the stage that can take the longest to go through because no one really knows when they are going to accept the loss of someone. This when the person reflects on their own actions and how they are going to move forward at this difficult point of their life. This is finally the moment when you are ready to let go of all the grief that you had during this process.
I have already accepted the fact that my grandpa is not here anymore. I am already at the point where I can think about the future and not have a mental breakdown over the fact that my grandpa isn’t going to be here for me anymore. I can now say to myself: I have gone through the stages of grief.