My dearest Jane Doe 
oh, Doe 
I sat on that porch 
waiting for you to come back home 
every time someone turned the corner, i thought it could have been you 
and when you hugged me for the last time 
i said something I wish i could take back everyday
No one here remembers your name anymore 
And it fades from my memory too
When I sleep, your face is distorted 
the purple walls aren’t the same shade
and your scent turns to dust 
dust that covers every inch of your room 
no one remembers your voice anymore 
your absence created the biggest void 
i see it in the sunlight, 
cataracts in my eyes where your figure should be 
the void sits with us 
silent but deafening
looming but transparent 
choking us slowly 
until it devours us 
oh, Jane 
i knew you had to 
but did you have to?
a single outcome is not possible 
it can not be 
Do you get my letters? 
Do you read them with the same tears I wrote them with? 
the same frustration from the present, emptiness from the past, uncertainty for the future. 
oh Jane Doe 
read them and come back
come back and fight and scream and tear apart the house 
come back with your rage and melancholy 
sit in place of the void
just as rigid, just as dark, just as looming 
come back with more of that ruin if you must 
fight me more, hit me more, curse me more 
but Dearest Jane Doe, 
return. 

diane sanchez