​With Mother’s Day passing by, we say goodbye to the endless amount of flowers, cards, mugs, jewelry, and much more advertised as “gifts you must get your mom.” The commercial industry really loves to take advantage of people wanting to honor their mothers on the second Sunday of May. However, the same energy is never kept for Father’s Day. There aren’t nearly as many gifts, cards, etc. advertised on Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day.  Why is that? 

Well, it goes back to societal values.

For centuries, most societies put in place what they viewed as the “perfect family structure”: the nurturing stay-at-home mother and the protective provider father. Though to some this arrangement might be perfect, for a lot of people, it doesn’t really work anymore. Women are able to provide for themselves and a family, and men can take care of children. Unfortunately, a lot of fathers either don't care for their children, or they’re not there at all. In American society, when a child is conceived, the blame and responsibility is often pinned on the mother. Fathers can legally opt out of being a parent with only monthly payments as compensation, and some fathers don't even pay that. Even with a father present, there are still many circumstances of the mother taking all of the heavy load. Those same men will use the “provider” excuse, but it doesn’t hold the same power as it used to since women could effectively provide and parent simultaneously. Not to mention the women who are forced into a stay-at-home mom position by their spouse with little consideration of whether they want to work or not. 

When a mother's entire model is to be nurturing, kind, and to take care of their children, a father’s contribution of money is 

​lackluster. Furthermore, a lot of fathers and husbands use weaponized incompetence (a situation wherein a person pretends to be bad at doing something in order to get out of doing certain tasks) to continue being mediocre while still expecting praise. Paying bills, buying stuff, going to work, yeah it’s helpful, but it's nothing special because it's the responsibility of most adults, especially parents. Actively raising and taking care of children and a household is much harder work than just having a job. When you compare an average father to an average mother, in most situations the mother comes out on top.

​This article is not to say that there aren’t good fathers out there: there are plenty of fathers who effectively take care of their children and have more to offer than just providing. Especially now more than ever, fathers are becoming more active and present in their roles as fathers. There are many posts and articles designated to celebrity fathers and how good they are with their kids. Furthermore, men have more opportunities to be more active in their kids’ lives because mothers are able to provide. 

Even with all of these good fathers, why is it that Father’s Day is still so neglected? It’s the same reason why the statement “not all men” doesn’t hold up in arguments. We all know not all fathers are absent or negligent, but it’s enough to not want to recognize Father’s Day the same way we do Mother’s Day.

Though Father's Day doesn’t really see the light of day, it does not take away from the fathers who deserve the recognition. Anyone is free to celebrate as they please; just like they’re free to not celebrate. But the reputation of Father’s Day was built off of a general consensus rather than looking on a personal level. 

ANGEL CAL