Today there was a thunderstorm
And I absolutely hated them
Like a child, I would stay inside
The wailing of the sky tormented my soul and shook me to my very core
The thunder made me stir and nauseous
So I avoided them.
I closed the windows and the doors and drew the curtains, and hid.
And I absolutely hated them
Like a child, I would stay inside
The wailing of the sky tormented my soul and shook me to my very core
The thunder made me stir and nauseous
So I avoided them.
I closed the windows and the doors and drew the curtains, and hid.
Today, I sat with the storm, her touch only inches away from me, and I did not stir or feel sick, I felt peace.
Fire, destroys; water, cleanses
Before, I wanted to yell and scream until my throat turned raw and my lungs gave out and my vision went black
I wanted to be the fury of the thunderstorm
I wanted to burn, to burn them, to burn me, to burn you out of me like sickness out of a dying man.
Fire, destroys; water, cleanses
Before, I wanted to yell and scream until my throat turned raw and my lungs gave out and my vision went black
I wanted to be the fury of the thunderstorm
I wanted to burn, to burn them, to burn me, to burn you out of me like sickness out of a dying man.
But that storm cleansed me, took my anger and with it the fire.
It took hours, it took trees and branches and houses I’m sure, to cleanse your touch on my soul.
And after the storm, the Earth was new, nourished and innocent.
I can not say I am completely unaffected, I can not say the thought of you does not remain in my mind.
But it does not make me flinch anymore.
It is just there, and there it will stay, fading with time.
And there will come a day where I will not think of you at all.
I don’t know whether that upsets me or not, that I turn around and you’re no longer there, that I wake up every morning and you are nowhere to be found.
But I think it doesn’t
It took hours, it took trees and branches and houses I’m sure, to cleanse your touch on my soul.
And after the storm, the Earth was new, nourished and innocent.
I can not say I am completely unaffected, I can not say the thought of you does not remain in my mind.
But it does not make me flinch anymore.
It is just there, and there it will stay, fading with time.
And there will come a day where I will not think of you at all.
I don’t know whether that upsets me or not, that I turn around and you’re no longer there, that I wake up every morning and you are nowhere to be found.
But I think it doesn’t
The water took the upset, it took the regret, it took the pain and the longing and the yearning and the searching and the pit in my stomach drained of the acid your words left in my body.
I asked God for a sign, I knelt and clasped together my hands just like Sunday school taught me, and begged for a sign.
But God's will is different than one’s own.
He did not grant me that conclusion, because that is not what I needed. That answer would not have lulled me to sleep. God granted me clarity, to know what path I needed to take.
God gave me my own sign, he gave me my heart back, clean from your ruin, to know what was really there, and what I needed to do.
I asked God for a sign, I knelt and clasped together my hands just like Sunday school taught me, and begged for a sign.
But God's will is different than one’s own.
He did not grant me that conclusion, because that is not what I needed. That answer would not have lulled me to sleep. God granted me clarity, to know what path I needed to take.
God gave me my own sign, he gave me my heart back, clean from your ruin, to know what was really there, and what I needed to do.
I used to be scared of the rain and the hail and the lightning that brightened my room
But I sat with the rain that day
I let it drown you out of me
I let it run through my veins as well as blood does
I let it flow out of my eyes just as my tears did oh so long ago
And as the sun rose and the water dried on the sidewalk, I let every part of you boil inside of me and evaporate
I don’t feel it anymore.
As simple as that, I don’t feel it.
But I sat with the rain that day
I let it drown you out of me
I let it run through my veins as well as blood does
I let it flow out of my eyes just as my tears did oh so long ago
And as the sun rose and the water dried on the sidewalk, I let every part of you boil inside of me and evaporate
I don’t feel it anymore.
As simple as that, I don’t feel it.
I do not hate you.
I do not love you.
I am indifferent.
I will not go back to you, there is nothing there for you.
There is nothing in those eyes.
They are as strange to me as the day before I met you and there is nothing left of me to give you.
The water cleansed me.
The water drowned me.
I am, renewed.
I do not love you.
I am indifferent.
I will not go back to you, there is nothing there for you.
There is nothing in those eyes.
They are as strange to me as the day before I met you and there is nothing left of me to give you.
The water cleansed me.
The water drowned me.
I am, renewed.
