I can not tell you what my biggest fear is
What keeps me awake at night
I can not tell you it is loving someone who will never say they love me back
Because death is the only equivalent, and that is not appropriate either
So, I deceive, and I lie
“Spiders”, I say
What keeps me awake at night
I can not tell you it is loving someone who will never say they love me back
Because death is the only equivalent, and that is not appropriate either
So, I deceive, and I lie
“Spiders”, I say
I can not say that I crave human touch,
Because intimacy repulses and frightens me
And the smallest stroke leaves me feeling empty
The gesture does not reach my heart, or even the surface of my skin, as I look down and see only my shadow embrace your mortal hand
Because intimacy repulses and frightens me
And the smallest stroke leaves me feeling empty
The gesture does not reach my heart, or even the surface of my skin, as I look down and see only my shadow embrace your mortal hand
I can not say my soul yearns for love
Because even I do not understand what the word “love” means
And I feel nothing when I say it, not even to you
Because even I do not understand what the word “love” means
And I feel nothing when I say it, not even to you
I can not say that in reality, I did not notice when you left
Because you were always there, bitterly
But I see parts of you every day
Because you were always there, bitterly
But I see parts of you every day
I can not say I ever did or did not care for you,
Because those butterflies stay stagnant inside me
But when I saw your face again, I almost remembered why I thought I did
Perhaps, for a fragment of time, I did
Yet my mind did not realize, and my heart did not soften
I only sat there, waiting.
Because those butterflies stay stagnant inside me
But when I saw your face again, I almost remembered why I thought I did
Perhaps, for a fragment of time, I did
Yet my mind did not realize, and my heart did not soften
I only sat there, waiting.
I can not say my stomach turned inside out when you replied “yes” to that dreaded question
Because you are not mine, and I’ve never had a claim on you that suggested otherwise
But I wished you had caught something in my eyes that told you the truth
Because you are not mine, and I’ve never had a claim on you that suggested otherwise
But I wished you had caught something in my eyes that told you the truth
Oh darling,
I would give my all to end this turmoil inside me
To find the string that unravels this mess
And find you waiting on the other side of it
So I could finally know if I am capable of feeling something
Of being loved.
I would give my all to end this turmoil inside me
To find the string that unravels this mess
And find you waiting on the other side of it
So I could finally know if I am capable of feeling something
Of being loved.
But alas, I can not say anything
So my lips will stay sealed
Desperate for the day you unlock them
With a key only you possess.
So my lips will stay sealed
Desperate for the day you unlock them
With a key only you possess.
My heart aches for the one thing I know I want
Yet concealed is the arbitrary of love
Hidden for me to find; I’ll continue to stumble
“For everything has a reason,” I say, as I lay between the night.
Yet concealed is the arbitrary of love
Hidden for me to find; I’ll continue to stumble
“For everything has a reason,” I say, as I lay between the night.
