Why is everyone so boring now?
No, seriously. Being nonchalant is the new craze among teenagers nowadays, which has led to a severe personality deficit. This phenomenon became popular on TikTok in recent years, and many jokes have stemmed from it, including the whole ‘nonchalant dreadhead’ epidemic.
According to Oxford Languages, nonchalant can be defined as “a person or manner feeling or appearing casually calm and relaxed; not displaying anxiety, interest, or enthusiasm." However, as people tend to do with most things, they took the term and ran with it. People act as though standing out in any way is the absolute worst thing they could think to do, and mask it under the guise of nonchalance. Self-expression through clothing or language is heavily frowned upon, and I often receive scowls for laughing too loudly.
But remind me again why dreadheads can’t be chalant?
In all seriousness: what happened? Why are boys unable to act as functioning members of society who are capable of expressing their emotions? I often reminisce about elementary school, when my classmates were all helplessly cringe and openly expressive in the most innocent of ways. Boys would congregate near the flagpole to trade Beyblades and battle each other, or chase the girls around the playground with a ring pop for a romantic marriage proposal. Now I can’t even get a text back in a timely manner because it’s no longer cool (though the entire purpose of texting is for quick communication, but that's neither here nor there). However, I can’t quite seem to pinpoint when exactly this shift took place. Maybe the ‘simp’ craze from circa 2019--that was also popularized on TikTok, ultimately deterring men from treating their girlfriends or wives properly--is to blame.
On the other hand, perhaps the angsty, overdramatized teen shows are at fault. Have you ever noticed that the brooding and mysterious love interest was always chosen over the much more loving and openly affectionate one? The main love interest was typically written as a stand-offish bad boy that every girl in school fawned over, but could never get. He’d act incredibly stand-offish and hate anything popular at the time. The main character would then fall irrevocably in love with how ‘misunderstood and unique’ he was. And if there’s one trope these shows love to add, it is love triangles. The hard-to-read bad boy and the sweet golden boy. The girl would always choose the bad boy in the end.
Fiction tends to bleed into reality far too often. Unfortunately, it is evident that everyone wants to be the indifferent bad boy nowadays--and for some reason, it’s actually working.
Nonchalant dreadhead this and nonchalant dreadhead that, but let’s talk about the circumstances that have led to this phenomenon. Admittedly, I often have to remind myself that for decades, black men have been told to stiffen their upper lip regardless of their circumstances. Sure, all men are expected to be masculine, but black people (men in this case), have no choice but to go above and beyond, work 2X harder, and be 2X better. Somehow, society wants them to behave like robots with no negative emotions, because if they do, their likelihood of being imprisoned or murdered skyrockets. Every black boy has had the talk with their parents. You know, the one where they are told to never question or become aggressive with a police officer and always keep their hands where they’re clearly visible? And then there’s the fact that most young black boys are forced into the role of becoming the ‘man’ of the house by the age of 12. The man of the house can’t have those pesky human emotions, right? Especially if those emotions indicate anything that isn’t positive. This perpetuates complacency.
Don’t be mistaken, though: women and teen girls have fallen victim to the nonchalant epidemic too. No, it has not hit us just as hard (yet), but there is still some damage control that needs to happen. For example, girls are often told they are too clingy for showing that they care about important components of a relationship, like quality time. Due to this fact, we feel forced to warp ourselves into different people to satisfy the other person, neglecting our own feelings.
Heartbreak and disillusionment that young girls face due to a forced nonchalant persona needs to be put to a stop. And how do we stop that, you may be wondering? It’s simple, really: stop entertaining it! Communication is arguably the most powerful tool in existence. If your so-called partner is incapable of sustaining an emotionally intellectual conversation (not because they can’t but because they refuse to), then please rethink that relationship–whomever it may be with. Now, I’m not saying to cut off everyone who won’t win a gold star for emotional conversations–but what I am arguing is that proposing conversation is imperative. It is perfectly okay for something to bother you. It is not okay to let that issue marinate, because with that comes a multitude of different problems. Stop pretending to be uninterested or unphased, because that relationship will perish as a result.
Now, unraise your eyebrow, please. I am aware that I’ve thrown around a bunch of very different issues and threw them together. Except they do have relevance to each other, don’t they? Maybe it is a bit of a stretch, and if so, shoot me–but I can’t help but notice a pattern in modern society. Now, we’ve already discussed the fact that conformity is favored over uniqueness, but I’ve kind of neglected to talk about why nonchalance is a big issue, aside from it simply being annoying. I mean, so what, a few people don’t care as much as others do?
Well, it is much larger than that. For starters, the normalization of nonchalance perpetuates unhealthy coping mechanisms. It is okay to have emotions, even if negative. The fact that such normal human emotions are often frowned upon is ridiculous and honestly confusing. Second, a lack of emotions results in a lack of progression. If there is no passion or anger, no one would feel the need to change anything. Ever. And, last but not least–while I may not like a lot of people, I do love humanity. Being chalant constitutes humanity. From the dumb jokes that receive pity laughter, or the tears that soak your best friend’s shirt after a rough day. Those little moments are what make life worth living. Without them, what’s the point?
No, seriously. Being nonchalant is the new craze among teenagers nowadays, which has led to a severe personality deficit. This phenomenon became popular on TikTok in recent years, and many jokes have stemmed from it, including the whole ‘nonchalant dreadhead’ epidemic.
According to Oxford Languages, nonchalant can be defined as “a person or manner feeling or appearing casually calm and relaxed; not displaying anxiety, interest, or enthusiasm." However, as people tend to do with most things, they took the term and ran with it. People act as though standing out in any way is the absolute worst thing they could think to do, and mask it under the guise of nonchalance. Self-expression through clothing or language is heavily frowned upon, and I often receive scowls for laughing too loudly.
But remind me again why dreadheads can’t be chalant?
In all seriousness: what happened? Why are boys unable to act as functioning members of society who are capable of expressing their emotions? I often reminisce about elementary school, when my classmates were all helplessly cringe and openly expressive in the most innocent of ways. Boys would congregate near the flagpole to trade Beyblades and battle each other, or chase the girls around the playground with a ring pop for a romantic marriage proposal. Now I can’t even get a text back in a timely manner because it’s no longer cool (though the entire purpose of texting is for quick communication, but that's neither here nor there). However, I can’t quite seem to pinpoint when exactly this shift took place. Maybe the ‘simp’ craze from circa 2019--that was also popularized on TikTok, ultimately deterring men from treating their girlfriends or wives properly--is to blame.
On the other hand, perhaps the angsty, overdramatized teen shows are at fault. Have you ever noticed that the brooding and mysterious love interest was always chosen over the much more loving and openly affectionate one? The main love interest was typically written as a stand-offish bad boy that every girl in school fawned over, but could never get. He’d act incredibly stand-offish and hate anything popular at the time. The main character would then fall irrevocably in love with how ‘misunderstood and unique’ he was. And if there’s one trope these shows love to add, it is love triangles. The hard-to-read bad boy and the sweet golden boy. The girl would always choose the bad boy in the end.
Fiction tends to bleed into reality far too often. Unfortunately, it is evident that everyone wants to be the indifferent bad boy nowadays--and for some reason, it’s actually working.
Nonchalant dreadhead this and nonchalant dreadhead that, but let’s talk about the circumstances that have led to this phenomenon. Admittedly, I often have to remind myself that for decades, black men have been told to stiffen their upper lip regardless of their circumstances. Sure, all men are expected to be masculine, but black people (men in this case), have no choice but to go above and beyond, work 2X harder, and be 2X better. Somehow, society wants them to behave like robots with no negative emotions, because if they do, their likelihood of being imprisoned or murdered skyrockets. Every black boy has had the talk with their parents. You know, the one where they are told to never question or become aggressive with a police officer and always keep their hands where they’re clearly visible? And then there’s the fact that most young black boys are forced into the role of becoming the ‘man’ of the house by the age of 12. The man of the house can’t have those pesky human emotions, right? Especially if those emotions indicate anything that isn’t positive. This perpetuates complacency.
Don’t be mistaken, though: women and teen girls have fallen victim to the nonchalant epidemic too. No, it has not hit us just as hard (yet), but there is still some damage control that needs to happen. For example, girls are often told they are too clingy for showing that they care about important components of a relationship, like quality time. Due to this fact, we feel forced to warp ourselves into different people to satisfy the other person, neglecting our own feelings.
Heartbreak and disillusionment that young girls face due to a forced nonchalant persona needs to be put to a stop. And how do we stop that, you may be wondering? It’s simple, really: stop entertaining it! Communication is arguably the most powerful tool in existence. If your so-called partner is incapable of sustaining an emotionally intellectual conversation (not because they can’t but because they refuse to), then please rethink that relationship–whomever it may be with. Now, I’m not saying to cut off everyone who won’t win a gold star for emotional conversations–but what I am arguing is that proposing conversation is imperative. It is perfectly okay for something to bother you. It is not okay to let that issue marinate, because with that comes a multitude of different problems. Stop pretending to be uninterested or unphased, because that relationship will perish as a result.
Now, unraise your eyebrow, please. I am aware that I’ve thrown around a bunch of very different issues and threw them together. Except they do have relevance to each other, don’t they? Maybe it is a bit of a stretch, and if so, shoot me–but I can’t help but notice a pattern in modern society. Now, we’ve already discussed the fact that conformity is favored over uniqueness, but I’ve kind of neglected to talk about why nonchalance is a big issue, aside from it simply being annoying. I mean, so what, a few people don’t care as much as others do?
Well, it is much larger than that. For starters, the normalization of nonchalance perpetuates unhealthy coping mechanisms. It is okay to have emotions, even if negative. The fact that such normal human emotions are often frowned upon is ridiculous and honestly confusing. Second, a lack of emotions results in a lack of progression. If there is no passion or anger, no one would feel the need to change anything. Ever. And, last but not least–while I may not like a lot of people, I do love humanity. Being chalant constitutes humanity. From the dumb jokes that receive pity laughter, or the tears that soak your best friend’s shirt after a rough day. Those little moments are what make life worth living. Without them, what’s the point?
