When a crowd sees someone clearly going through a mental crisis in public, you’ll hardly see anyone stepping up to help them; instead, the crowd has their phones out, excited to press post on TikTok to show to millions on the internet how absolutely crazy this person is and get a quick laugh. When an oppressed community is struggling, everyone turns a blind eye. When you're struggling, that's just life and you have to live with it.
There is a lot wrong with this mentality.
We're coming upon times of mass struggle. Inflation will be at its worst while wages are staying the same, jobs are getting harder to come by and more difficult to obtain, many are going hungry, homelessness is rampant, mass deportation is starting, hatred and bigotry are on the rise, minority groups are being targeted left and right, and we're about to enter another four years of hell under Trump’s presidency. And of course, during all of this, TikTok got “banned” as a PR stunt and whole bloodlines were being eradicated elsewhere in the world. It's safe to say that a lot of us are in that "doom mentality" where everything feels like it's not going to be okay for a while, and that's a valid mental state when all you hear on any news station is the newest way to die and a not-so-new way to be further oppressed by the elite. It's during these times where community work is extremely important, but nobody has the empathy for it anymore.
It's wrong to claim that there's absolutely nobody doing the work to help create change. I've had the privilege myself to work with many talented organizers and nonprofit organizations doing that community work to aid in creating a greater change. However, it's also not wrong to claim that we're all extremely selfish, to put it harshly. America is built off of individualistic mentalities, only thinking about what will benefit us, how to achieve the idea of an “American dream” for myself, making sure I’m not struggling, and ensuring I am happy. Selfishness and self-care aren't bad in moderation, but the problem is that there's no moderation.
We've prioritized our happiness and peace and used it as an excuse not to care: not paying attention to the genocides happening in Congo, Sudan, Palestine, or anywhere else in the world; making jokes about people working in sweatshops that create the fast fashion we consume guilt-free despite the abuse it takes to make it; turning a blind eye to natural catastrophes currently happening and the impacts they’re causing to those communities; continuing to litter even though we know the climate impacts it causes; making fun of people going through a mental break in public; walking away from someone who clearly needs help,; looking at someone sideways when they ask for help; judging homeless people for “not working hard enough”; not speaking up when mistreatment happens for your own peace; not even making an attempt to help someone close to you just because you don't know how to. These are a couple small but common habits that we create that show our selfishness and lack of care. When unchecked (which they often are), lead us down the pipeline of apathy. This is the opposite what what is needed during a time like this.
Of course, this way of thinking has existed forever. It’s not like a generation of people just woke up one day and decided they didn't want to care anymore; however, there's been a clear increase of lack of sympathy and empathy, and it's extremely prevalent if you scroll for 5 minutes anywhere on the internet, so much so we’ve become desensitized to it. I think it partially stems from self-care and mental health becoming more normalized.
Don't get me wrong: self-care is amazing. You can't get anything done if you aren't taking care of yourself first, and I'm a firm believer of that. But with the teaching of prioritizing ourselves, people forgot to learn how to balance between caring too much and too little. There has to be some kind of moderation in the practice of self-care and community care, or else we'll be at a standstill. If we don't take care of ourselves, we won't have the energy to take care of others and will quickly burn out. If we prioritize ourselves for our “inner peace” to the point where we forget to do the community work, our community is left suffering.
I think another fault of ours to blame is our fear of discomfort. We are scared of being uncomfortable, so we avoid it in any way possible. Change is uncomfortable, having to look at everything wrong and make an effort to take action is uncomfortable, and the awkwardness of the first steps is uncomfortable. It's natural to not want to sacrifice what you believe is comfortable, even if it's harmful, but unfortunately, being scared to give up our privilege of being comfortable will only harm us in the long run. The first step to creating change is facing those flaws in our thinking and figuring out how to correct them. That's the only way things can get done.
I'm not writing this article as a call out to accuse everybody of being a bad person, but rather as a call in; a wake-up call. If you feel offended or the need to defend yourself, then this wake-up call is for YOU. We are all going through tough times, and it's not looking like it will go uphill any time soon. We cannot become desensitized to harm, even if that’s all we ever face. If we want our communities to thrive, we have to be active participants in it, and that starts with having the empathy to care in the first place. This is a desperate call to care.
There is a lot wrong with this mentality.
We're coming upon times of mass struggle. Inflation will be at its worst while wages are staying the same, jobs are getting harder to come by and more difficult to obtain, many are going hungry, homelessness is rampant, mass deportation is starting, hatred and bigotry are on the rise, minority groups are being targeted left and right, and we're about to enter another four years of hell under Trump’s presidency. And of course, during all of this, TikTok got “banned” as a PR stunt and whole bloodlines were being eradicated elsewhere in the world. It's safe to say that a lot of us are in that "doom mentality" where everything feels like it's not going to be okay for a while, and that's a valid mental state when all you hear on any news station is the newest way to die and a not-so-new way to be further oppressed by the elite. It's during these times where community work is extremely important, but nobody has the empathy for it anymore.
It's wrong to claim that there's absolutely nobody doing the work to help create change. I've had the privilege myself to work with many talented organizers and nonprofit organizations doing that community work to aid in creating a greater change. However, it's also not wrong to claim that we're all extremely selfish, to put it harshly. America is built off of individualistic mentalities, only thinking about what will benefit us, how to achieve the idea of an “American dream” for myself, making sure I’m not struggling, and ensuring I am happy. Selfishness and self-care aren't bad in moderation, but the problem is that there's no moderation.
We've prioritized our happiness and peace and used it as an excuse not to care: not paying attention to the genocides happening in Congo, Sudan, Palestine, or anywhere else in the world; making jokes about people working in sweatshops that create the fast fashion we consume guilt-free despite the abuse it takes to make it; turning a blind eye to natural catastrophes currently happening and the impacts they’re causing to those communities; continuing to litter even though we know the climate impacts it causes; making fun of people going through a mental break in public; walking away from someone who clearly needs help,; looking at someone sideways when they ask for help; judging homeless people for “not working hard enough”; not speaking up when mistreatment happens for your own peace; not even making an attempt to help someone close to you just because you don't know how to. These are a couple small but common habits that we create that show our selfishness and lack of care. When unchecked (which they often are), lead us down the pipeline of apathy. This is the opposite what what is needed during a time like this.
Of course, this way of thinking has existed forever. It’s not like a generation of people just woke up one day and decided they didn't want to care anymore; however, there's been a clear increase of lack of sympathy and empathy, and it's extremely prevalent if you scroll for 5 minutes anywhere on the internet, so much so we’ve become desensitized to it. I think it partially stems from self-care and mental health becoming more normalized.
Don't get me wrong: self-care is amazing. You can't get anything done if you aren't taking care of yourself first, and I'm a firm believer of that. But with the teaching of prioritizing ourselves, people forgot to learn how to balance between caring too much and too little. There has to be some kind of moderation in the practice of self-care and community care, or else we'll be at a standstill. If we don't take care of ourselves, we won't have the energy to take care of others and will quickly burn out. If we prioritize ourselves for our “inner peace” to the point where we forget to do the community work, our community is left suffering.
I think another fault of ours to blame is our fear of discomfort. We are scared of being uncomfortable, so we avoid it in any way possible. Change is uncomfortable, having to look at everything wrong and make an effort to take action is uncomfortable, and the awkwardness of the first steps is uncomfortable. It's natural to not want to sacrifice what you believe is comfortable, even if it's harmful, but unfortunately, being scared to give up our privilege of being comfortable will only harm us in the long run. The first step to creating change is facing those flaws in our thinking and figuring out how to correct them. That's the only way things can get done.
I'm not writing this article as a call out to accuse everybody of being a bad person, but rather as a call in; a wake-up call. If you feel offended or the need to defend yourself, then this wake-up call is for YOU. We are all going through tough times, and it's not looking like it will go uphill any time soon. We cannot become desensitized to harm, even if that’s all we ever face. If we want our communities to thrive, we have to be active participants in it, and that starts with having the empathy to care in the first place. This is a desperate call to care.