We all have to go through it at one point or another. Now you may be wondering what it is, and the answer is death. I’m not talking about our own death, but the deaths of the people that you love.
It has been a little over a year since I lost my grandpa. He was one of my main supporters, even though he couldn’t remember who I was half the time. I went through the grieving process, and I feel like I’m finally getting used to the fact that he’s no longer here with us.
We all go through the 5 stages of grief. Everyone goes through them at different paces or just skip a stage entirely. I just shared a little bit of my own story, but here are some personal stories that other people shared with me. There will only be a couple because not everyone is comfortable with sharing such sensitive details about their lives, and that’s okay. I asked people to share how they felt after the death of someone or something important. Some of them chose to remain anonymous during my interview. Ready or not, here are the stories:
It has been a little over a year since I lost my grandpa. He was one of my main supporters, even though he couldn’t remember who I was half the time. I went through the grieving process, and I feel like I’m finally getting used to the fact that he’s no longer here with us.
We all go through the 5 stages of grief. Everyone goes through them at different paces or just skip a stage entirely. I just shared a little bit of my own story, but here are some personal stories that other people shared with me. There will only be a couple because not everyone is comfortable with sharing such sensitive details about their lives, and that’s okay. I asked people to share how they felt after the death of someone or something important. Some of them chose to remain anonymous during my interview. Ready or not, here are the stories:
Veronica/my mom:
I think that because of my father’s age, I was able to accept his death. Although I miss him and it hurts, I accept it. There are days where I’m triggered by almost anything and it makes me cry: it could be a song, memory, a place, it could be anything and I am triggered. I find that I’m more triggered now than I was in the beginning. I thought that the date of the anniversary of his death was going to be hard, but it was actually harder on the anniversary of the day that he went into hospice. They say it gets easier day by day, but I haven’t felt it get easier.
Jose/my dad:
My siblings and I had to accept that my mom died due to the suffering she experienced. It has been 21 years since she died, but it still hurts like it did when she was sick. Due to my dad not having his life companion, he started to deteriorate. What hurt my dad was his age and diabetes because they both affected him a lot. I saw myself needing to be able to accept his death. My mom’s death was harder to get through. I felt horrible pain due to my mother's passing, but at the same time, I felt good about my dad’s death because my parents were reunited again. Today, I remember that they were always smiling, and it brings me satisfaction along with joy. Amen.
Gaby/sister:
I was sad; at first, I didn’t know how to react because it was my first time losing someone so close. My first reaction was crying and sometimes I thought, ‘oh I won’t cry that much’ because I couldn’t cry, and other times I couldn’t even stop crying. Other times I felt lonely because I had never really gone through this. Sometimes I would be doing random things and I would start crying, or I would look at pictures and it would be the same. There were other times when I couldn’t even control my emotions because one moment I was laughing and the next I was crying. There are still times when I want to go to the cemetery to see him. I still think that he’s in a better place, but I want him back so that I can give him one last hug, kiss, and I love you. I know he’s resting and that makes me feel better.
Kyndra:
When my friend recently died of gun violence, I felt empty and hurt. I felt this because he was my age and he was so innocent. He never did anything wrong, and it just hit different and hard to heat that he had died.
Christian:
My grandma was sick for a long time. She had stomach cancer, but she tried to hide it for a long time. I was 10 and naive, so I didn’t know what was going on. Four years later, she was on an oxygen tank and barely alive. She always wanted to see us grow up and go to college. The last thing I said to her was that I’m going to college for free. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she heard me. She died two weeks later on Christmas day. I was sad for almost two weeks. But my promise I made to her before she died keeps me going every day. My grandma lives through me every day.
Anonymous:
Both my parents were diagnosed with two different types of cancer and died shortly after. They were barely 38 and 45. It has been two years since my mom died, and four months since my dad, and I still don't really know how it happened. Within a blink of my eye, it was like the past 17 years hadn't happened with them. They were gone, and there was no bringing them back. I had cut myself from feeling anything real heavily emotionally for so long, and I truly don't know what to feel anymore. I know I'm sad and I know I'm grieving, but I don't really know how to process that feeling anymore.
Anonymous:
It was hard getting over it. I had to leave the room so that they could pass away. The doctors didn’t let them die until after we said goodbye and left. Getting home was quiet, so they were all I thought about. It got better after about a month or so due to good memories of them.
Anonymous:
My family dog was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. He had been in the most pain from March 21 up until the day we put him down, March 24. His death made me really sad because he had been with us since I was 4. Even though he was old, he lived a great life, and I will miss him a lot.
I think that because of my father’s age, I was able to accept his death. Although I miss him and it hurts, I accept it. There are days where I’m triggered by almost anything and it makes me cry: it could be a song, memory, a place, it could be anything and I am triggered. I find that I’m more triggered now than I was in the beginning. I thought that the date of the anniversary of his death was going to be hard, but it was actually harder on the anniversary of the day that he went into hospice. They say it gets easier day by day, but I haven’t felt it get easier.
Jose/my dad:
My siblings and I had to accept that my mom died due to the suffering she experienced. It has been 21 years since she died, but it still hurts like it did when she was sick. Due to my dad not having his life companion, he started to deteriorate. What hurt my dad was his age and diabetes because they both affected him a lot. I saw myself needing to be able to accept his death. My mom’s death was harder to get through. I felt horrible pain due to my mother's passing, but at the same time, I felt good about my dad’s death because my parents were reunited again. Today, I remember that they were always smiling, and it brings me satisfaction along with joy. Amen.
Gaby/sister:
I was sad; at first, I didn’t know how to react because it was my first time losing someone so close. My first reaction was crying and sometimes I thought, ‘oh I won’t cry that much’ because I couldn’t cry, and other times I couldn’t even stop crying. Other times I felt lonely because I had never really gone through this. Sometimes I would be doing random things and I would start crying, or I would look at pictures and it would be the same. There were other times when I couldn’t even control my emotions because one moment I was laughing and the next I was crying. There are still times when I want to go to the cemetery to see him. I still think that he’s in a better place, but I want him back so that I can give him one last hug, kiss, and I love you. I know he’s resting and that makes me feel better.
Kyndra:
When my friend recently died of gun violence, I felt empty and hurt. I felt this because he was my age and he was so innocent. He never did anything wrong, and it just hit different and hard to heat that he had died.
Christian:
My grandma was sick for a long time. She had stomach cancer, but she tried to hide it for a long time. I was 10 and naive, so I didn’t know what was going on. Four years later, she was on an oxygen tank and barely alive. She always wanted to see us grow up and go to college. The last thing I said to her was that I’m going to college for free. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she heard me. She died two weeks later on Christmas day. I was sad for almost two weeks. But my promise I made to her before she died keeps me going every day. My grandma lives through me every day.
Anonymous:
Both my parents were diagnosed with two different types of cancer and died shortly after. They were barely 38 and 45. It has been two years since my mom died, and four months since my dad, and I still don't really know how it happened. Within a blink of my eye, it was like the past 17 years hadn't happened with them. They were gone, and there was no bringing them back. I had cut myself from feeling anything real heavily emotionally for so long, and I truly don't know what to feel anymore. I know I'm sad and I know I'm grieving, but I don't really know how to process that feeling anymore.
Anonymous:
It was hard getting over it. I had to leave the room so that they could pass away. The doctors didn’t let them die until after we said goodbye and left. Getting home was quiet, so they were all I thought about. It got better after about a month or so due to good memories of them.
Anonymous:
My family dog was recently diagnosed with stomach cancer. He had been in the most pain from March 21 up until the day we put him down, March 24. His death made me really sad because he had been with us since I was 4. Even though he was old, he lived a great life, and I will miss him a lot.
Karla Lopez
