I want you to know me
To see me and to care
I want to speak freely in front of you
I want to complain,
To love you with no restraints
To hate with your full attention
I want you to listen to me beyond a mumble in your ears

I just want you to notice something 
If I'm sick or tired
When I want to cry
I hope one day you'll know the difference between my laughs
My genuine laugh with my eyes crinkled at the sides
My "I'm-the-butt-of-the-joke-again" laugh I make as I bite the inside if my lip
My "out of it" laugh that sounds more like a scoff

I want you to miss me when you're gone
To feel my absence
To wonder where I am
What I'm doing 
If we'll meet again
God, I just want you to miss me like I'll miss you
You don't even have to tell me when you're back

I want you to know me like I know you
I want you to know my favorite show because yours is anything with Gordon Ramsey
I want you to take my glasses and clean them because I'm always careful around your broken lens when I do
I want you to want me as your Spades partner because I always look for you when a deck of cards is pulled
Hell, I'd kill for you to at least know my birthday,
A simple "hello" in the hallways
An acknowledgement of our friendship outside these walls

I don't want to beg to be heard anymore
But one last time?
I want you to care for me
I want you to know me
I want you to love me
Please
Just ten percent of my one-hundred
​

But you won't 
You can't
Not as if you don't have the capacity,
it's just me

amira patrick