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{A Bit Cold, Your Love} Look into my eyes And see the turmoil inside me The push and pull Of my beating heart And my weary mind I see your eyes turn away from me Disappearing Waiting to see them again To feel a connect To rest Because as cold as your love is It’s the only thing that I yearn for at night I’d lick the blood off the knife you held, gladly I’ll wait Turn to stone as you leave Statuesque in my pain An eternity I’ll stay For you to come set me free I’ve done well without your gaze all these years But now, I search for it What can I do? |
“A Bit Cold, Your Love” was first meant to be about a person who could not love, it later turned into a poem about someone who could not distinguish between obsession and affection, and even then, they can not love someone else.
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{The Wants of a Foolish Girl}
I want it all so bad I want to move like a swan Drown like a rock Cry like a widow Rule like a god Serve like a peasant How can I ever fill the wants of a miserable woman into one life How can I ever pick one simple life How can I ever fit all the lives I long to live in one that has an expiration date? My body will rot My eyes will close My heart will stop I turn to ash And yet my soul will not stop wanting Will not stop wandering |
“The Wants of a Foolish Girl” was originally a journal entry.
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{9-5 Originally: He Follows Me Home}
I wake And I find myself still stuck to that phone Still chained to my chair Still in that cubicle My seven-year degree hangs on the fence, a verticle obstruction not tall enough to be called a wall No privacy No end He follows me home He watches from the shadows He looms over my conscience Whispering of wealth and comfort He is Greed Their last dollar will not save them from the Devil The Devil that followed them home, greedily too He will know every crevice of your mind And he will creep in As you cower and hide |
“9-5” was supposed to be a poem about the personification of Greed, plaguing the working class and the 1% of society, hence the original name: “He Follows Me Home”. |
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{The Rejection of Death} And to the soil I will return For only this way will the unjust world of man rid themselves of the inextinguishable fire That I find in every gas star Every forgotten corner Every drop of blood Every eye of water Forgotten all In their due time. |
“The Rejection of Death” came from a twisted thought and late-night entry:
“I fantasize about death more than life Is this wrong if my life is determined by death rather than living? The average person will sleep half of their life Half of their life, they play with death like an imaginary friend And what of the people who do not sleep? Are they morbidly afraid of death? They taunt him more than the people who sleep Than the people who spend all their subconscious time with death because life is the only thing worse.” |
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{Beautiful Girl}
I wonder if they get up as early as me, if they ponder in their reflection like me If I poke, and rub, and move my face around enough, will it change? Will I be pretty like them? As the sun sets, the magic wears off and Cinderella disappears I look back into that same mirror and I no longer see what I once did I wipe off my lip gloss, and the mascara, and the blush, and all I can think to myself is “Lipstick on a pig” |
“Beautiful Girl” was written between 2 am and tears, it was originally scraped in its entirety because I hate it. I completely rewrote the poem and published a new version. However, some lines may still be similar.
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{Tear Stained Face}
My body shakes and my heart accelerates Looking up with hopeless, dead, childlike eyes I’ve seen them before, in pictures Full of desire for life I see them now in the mirror And how you drained them of dreams The burning tears leaving permanent scars in the corners of my eyes How young I was when I saw them for the first time How innocent I was when I realized your eyes only held hate when they met mine I look into those same eyes, and wonder where it all went |
“Tear Stained Face” was meant to be about a girl who could no longer see her original innocent and child-like self, highlighted by her finding of tear stains in the corners of her eyes that she sees in the mirror but not in old pictures. Many lines and stanzas in this poem are pulled from another original poem titled: Wanted, which is about a girl who wants to have her own identity but is compared and criticized for how similar she is to someone else. |
