Sometimes I wonder why boys think liking the color pink means a girl can’t have a similar interest to them. We can’t understand the inside jokes from a video game. We can’t understand the same sports they like. If we somehow manage to share a little bit of curiosity, we’re suddenly forced to name every team that’s ever walked across a field. I’m not saying that every girl I know engages in things that are more common amongst the XY chromosomes, but that doesn’t mean that everything is niche to us either.
I think a lot of girls had a phase where they went against any and all shades of pink when growing up. I don’t think it’s because we actually disliked the color, but because we wanted to be respected. Unfortunately, the color pink is often associated with childishness, and it makes it hard for us to be taken seriously. If I show up to a job with pink nails and pink lip gloss, it’s going to be assumed that I'm this bubbly girl who's never willing to argue. I hate that. There’s a certain stereotyping that comes with the color, and it’s hard to rinse off as you grow up. I was one of those girls, sadly; however, I’m very happy to say that how a boy perceives me is no longer a thought in my head. I’m combative, I’m expressive, and I'm going to continue walking around with long, jeweled out nails and lashes while I act that way.
I think a lot of girls had a phase where they went against any and all shades of pink when growing up. I don’t think it’s because we actually disliked the color, but because we wanted to be respected. Unfortunately, the color pink is often associated with childishness, and it makes it hard for us to be taken seriously. If I show up to a job with pink nails and pink lip gloss, it’s going to be assumed that I'm this bubbly girl who's never willing to argue. I hate that. There’s a certain stereotyping that comes with the color, and it’s hard to rinse off as you grow up. I was one of those girls, sadly; however, I’m very happy to say that how a boy perceives me is no longer a thought in my head. I’m combative, I’m expressive, and I'm going to continue walking around with long, jeweled out nails and lashes while I act that way.
If I were to bring up a comic book right now, I’m more likely to hear “what do you know about that” quicker than I hear “who’s your favorite character!” I’ll admit, sometimes I feel like I'm some top secret agent with wisdom no one knows about, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get a little somber sometimes. I know so many girls would love different forms of media, but the public opinion of what it means to be “cool” deters them from giving anything a try. It feels like I need to hide parts of myself because no one really wants to hear about it. And when I do talk about something I really like- Star Wars, currently- I end up word-vomiting the entire story from beginning to end until I get some type of weird stare without realizing it. It’s either I'm too much of a “girl” to understand something, or I talk so much about it that it starts to feel like I'm too much. Who knows, maybe some people in college will vibe with it more.
Maybe the reason boys are so against liking the same thing as a girl is because we’re usually used as a negative connotation for everything. If someone tells you you’re acting like a girl or you fight like one, it’s an immediate insult. I find that pretty ironic given the fact that women go through a lot that men couldn’t handle due to their unchecked emotional instability. I’m not going to argue with you about this either; take it or leave it. But back to my point: everything is rooted in misogyny. If boys found out that a girl would actually prefer staying home and getting on a Nintendo Switch, they’ll eventually have to admit that we’re their equals. It would mean apologizing for inconsiderate comments and insensitive moments, and sadly, they don’t seem too ready for that one.
Now you might be thinking, “But Alex, I actually do want to talk to a girl who likes the same things as me!” I’m not saying that’s impossible, I’m saying that the majority of men typically refer to the idea they have of a girl instead of accepting that we are people with complexities and duality. It’s a common idea that a lot of alternative boys don’t like dating girls who are also alternative. They like the idea, but unfortunately, they tend to feel like it’s a threat to their masculinity if a girl were to style an outfit better or find an underground rapper before they do. I’m not going to make the claim that they do this consciously, but eventually it becomes hard to avoid this topic when it’s displayed in even the smallest debates. And if it’s not, would you care to tell me why there are so many clips of girl gamers being threatened after they beat a boy in their favorite game?
This doesn’t just apply to girls socially; men tend to dumb us down in professional settings as well. I have a wonderful friend named Bryanne. She’s one of the smartest girls I know, and she’s very comfortable tapping into her feminine side; that’s always been something I admire about her. She’s always told me she wants to be a doctor, and I have no doubt she’ll be one of the best we’ve seen. However, I’ve noticed that when she brings up medical school, men somehow come to the conclusion that she’s going to become a nurse. Well, last time I checked, nursing school exists, so I’m not really sure how we got there. I could argue that they saw a pretty girl dressed in pink every day of her life and said that nursing is the only category she would fit into. Nursing has never been simple, and it’s not something strictly for women either. Men choose to see it that way because they don’t fully respect that title, and that’s why it’s an automatic relation to women. They haven’t learned to respect us when femininity is displayed. Not only is denouncing the hard work nurses do based on looks, but it’s truly unfortunate that this is still the mindset in today’s society. I think aspects of Bryanne’s personality and style are actually exactly why she’d be a good doctor. Doctors often end up with complex cases that require them to think outside the box. She’s always been alternative in her style, and even though everyone might not get it, it’s true to her. The best doctors this world has ever learned from challenged the status quo, so wearing blush and a couple of bows might be an even bigger reason to trust her with your life. Being different will always be a path to success.
I didn’t write this article to hurt a man’s feelings--not that I'd care much about it--but I wrote it so that it would motivate them to think about why they feel so comfortable looking down on girls. Why do you feel like it’s hurtful to be compared to a girl? Why do you think it’s too vulgar to hear a bit of Cardi B on the radio when you have no problem playing Young Thug every day? You can take my words with a grain of salt. But remember, in every joke you make about a girl, there will always be a sliver of personal perspective in your words. If I want to stay home and binge-watch videos on dinosaurs, that's my provocation. If Bryanne wants to come to school in her beautiful white skirts, then that’s what she’ll do. A girl's interest doesn’t take away from how you feel. Not everything must be performative for it to make sense in your head.
