I hate her more than my father
Didn't think I would see the day
My biggest fear was seeing him in my reflection
Until I looked in the mirror and saw her
I hate her
How she became my fight or flight response
And how that's pushing people away
Because she never learned to get close to anyone
And nobody knows it
But that's the true fatherless behavior
I can say that
Because I harbor no respect for the girl
And if I keep mimicking her mannerisms 
I'll have little respect for myself
And if I compare everyone that I've ever met to him
Then I don't think that I'll ever stop comparing myself to her
She is what not to be
Her favorite pastime is moving in silence
So she never showed any affection
She enjoyed playing with emotion
And poking at at afflictions
Joking about indifference
I missed the part where I picked it up
I hate her
More than my father
My worst fear was becoming him
I never had qualms about becoming her
Didn't occur to me that she would be something to despise until just now
I still idolized her until just now
She made herself seem so much better than everyone else
And it seems that her narcissism was a disease
See because
I saw her as what I should aspire to be
I should have been climbing towards me
And now
I'm being a her
Ruining relationships by being insensitive
I don't think before I speak
And I always thought she was stupid
And I hate her more than my father
And I don't know where that places me
But
Sometime in the future
I'll hate her right out of my memory

Trinity Jones