My love is not unconditional.
The other day, I was reminded of Nicki Minaj and Megan Thee Stallion. When Megan’s ‘Hiss’—a diss track that addressed all of her haters—came out, the iconic line “these hoes don't be mad at Megan, these hoes mad at Megan's Law" went viral. After which, this unnamed shot sent Nicki Minaj into a spiral of internet tweets, threats, and lives. At the same time, because of the use of Megan’s Law in the lyrics, many people began to look into its meaning and its relation to Nicki Minaj. The relationship between Megan’s Law and Nicki Minaj was her repetitive connection to sexual offenders, one being her husband and the other being her brother. Following this reveal was the expected backlash for marrying an offender.
However, the person I want to focus on is her brother, Jelani Minaj. Throughout his case, Nicki is seen and publicly stated to have been supporting her brother. Some people support her decision, and why? Because he’s her brother. But ultimately, I couldn’t. My love is deeply connected to my personal values and morals, and therefore, I couldn’t in any realm of the universe love a person like him.
Unconditional love is typically defined as the type of love that is given freely without expectation or, in some cases, reciprocation. It's frequently used when discussing familial relationships—and more specifically, blood relationships. As a society, there is some type of favoritism behind being physically and genetically related to someone, “genetically” somehow being the better option than others.
I strongly disagree. Blood isn’t what makes someone family, it’s love. Now, of course, I'm closer to my family. I’ve known them my whole life! But my mom, my sister, my dad, and my brother aren’t loved by me just because of that. I don’t base the foundations of my relationship on “flesh and blood”. To me, my love is conditional.
As a defining part of my being, I hold my morals. I don’t understand why, but my morals heavily influence the amount of love I hold for a person. I don’t believe that I can immediately stop loving you (except in extreme cases), but depending on the situation, it will definitely influence the way that I look at you.
Once I gained an understanding of this, I think it helped me support my relationships better. A lot of the time, people hold onto toxic relationships just because they have “blood” connections or they’ve known them since “forever”. Still, maintaining relationships also comes with the task of maintaining yourself. What type of relationship do you want to have?
It’s simply not possible to have a genuinely good relationship if you have to sacrifice and withhold things that make you uncomfortable. If you wouldn’t accept a stranger doing those things, then why would you accept anyone else? You can have love, but that doesn’t mean you have to intentionally blind yourself, ignoring the harm they cause.
If anything, the main thing that I want to get across is that you should really decide who you want to be around and what you stand for. If you find yourself shifting your beliefs, staying silent, or maintaining relationships with people with whom you think you owe unconditional love, take the time to decide what truly matters and why. You can have unconditional love, but love shouldn't be an obligation.
The other day, I was reminded of Nicki Minaj and Megan Thee Stallion. When Megan’s ‘Hiss’—a diss track that addressed all of her haters—came out, the iconic line “these hoes don't be mad at Megan, these hoes mad at Megan's Law" went viral. After which, this unnamed shot sent Nicki Minaj into a spiral of internet tweets, threats, and lives. At the same time, because of the use of Megan’s Law in the lyrics, many people began to look into its meaning and its relation to Nicki Minaj. The relationship between Megan’s Law and Nicki Minaj was her repetitive connection to sexual offenders, one being her husband and the other being her brother. Following this reveal was the expected backlash for marrying an offender.
However, the person I want to focus on is her brother, Jelani Minaj. Throughout his case, Nicki is seen and publicly stated to have been supporting her brother. Some people support her decision, and why? Because he’s her brother. But ultimately, I couldn’t. My love is deeply connected to my personal values and morals, and therefore, I couldn’t in any realm of the universe love a person like him.
Unconditional love is typically defined as the type of love that is given freely without expectation or, in some cases, reciprocation. It's frequently used when discussing familial relationships—and more specifically, blood relationships. As a society, there is some type of favoritism behind being physically and genetically related to someone, “genetically” somehow being the better option than others.
I strongly disagree. Blood isn’t what makes someone family, it’s love. Now, of course, I'm closer to my family. I’ve known them my whole life! But my mom, my sister, my dad, and my brother aren’t loved by me just because of that. I don’t base the foundations of my relationship on “flesh and blood”. To me, my love is conditional.
As a defining part of my being, I hold my morals. I don’t understand why, but my morals heavily influence the amount of love I hold for a person. I don’t believe that I can immediately stop loving you (except in extreme cases), but depending on the situation, it will definitely influence the way that I look at you.
Once I gained an understanding of this, I think it helped me support my relationships better. A lot of the time, people hold onto toxic relationships just because they have “blood” connections or they’ve known them since “forever”. Still, maintaining relationships also comes with the task of maintaining yourself. What type of relationship do you want to have?
It’s simply not possible to have a genuinely good relationship if you have to sacrifice and withhold things that make you uncomfortable. If you wouldn’t accept a stranger doing those things, then why would you accept anyone else? You can have love, but that doesn’t mean you have to intentionally blind yourself, ignoring the harm they cause.
If anything, the main thing that I want to get across is that you should really decide who you want to be around and what you stand for. If you find yourself shifting your beliefs, staying silent, or maintaining relationships with people with whom you think you owe unconditional love, take the time to decide what truly matters and why. You can have unconditional love, but love shouldn't be an obligation.
