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KaimóS

alexandrea suggs, april 2025

I’ve given in to something that will make me weep behind closed doors
an ocean so strong that i’m swept off my feet without the chance to understand the coolness of its waves  
A film so enticing that i don’t feel the rain hitting harshly against my cheeks
A guitar solo filled with such force and nostalgia that my heart begins to melt 
Yes it seems i’ve given in
I’ve lost all the air in my lungs
the strength in my legs
and the ability to feel beyond the melody that now plays so timidly in my ears 
The fairytales i found so fascinating are starting to reflect minuscule moments 
the feeling, at least

i’m cold 
and i’m walking through a breeze so severe that my eyes water before i even see your face
and when i finally meet you in the middle for the last time
the blow of the wind becomes the least of my worries 
as the ache in my chest settles in

I ran from the truth day after day
now it’s caught up to me
and you’re the only one to witness it
I hid away so long 
that the pain in my voice is the only way you recognize me 

I’ve fought the very thing that would bring me peace
and now there’s nowhere to go
time has stopped before me
every “what if” replays in my mind
and as your gaze is finally
upon me
i wonder if imagination has encased me

the final embrace takes me straight to the ocean floor
the film has ended, and the theatre is empty 
i’ve lost the rhythm to the solo that was adhered to my mind 
it’s as if i’m a robot without the ability to rewind

there’s nothing left for you here
and soon i’ll feel the same 
eventually i’ll pretend i don’t know you
and i’ll act as though this moment meant nothing to me
but a part of me will continue to hope you come back 
to say every word you held back

I walked every path possible  
until i had no choice but to find myself
limited conversation leads to an inconclusive ending 
i can’t say life has ever flashed before my eyes 
because i wasn’t living it until you came by
and just as quickly as you arrived
you left without an honest goodbye 

alexandrea suggs

Picture

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  • Home
    • LGBTQ+ Resources
    • BALM Founders >
      • After Hours Podcast
      • PODCAST >
        • Resources
      • Sports/Clubs
    • Student Businesses
  • Meet Us
    • Socials >
      • Google Forms
  • This Month
    • BALM Radio
    • CREATIVE WRITING >
      • Ugly Flower
      • 18
      • Pookie Wookie Bear & Baba Gurrlllll
      • You never really heard me
      • What can money buy?
      • Swan
      • Top of the Food Chain
      • Weekend Routine
      • Living Organism
      • Kaimós
      • Real
      • Frostbitten Flowers
      • Where Have All The People Gone
      • Hongdae RnB
      • Letter to Mr. Prentice: Assistant Principal Appreciation
      • My lesson in letting go
    • Op-Eds >
      • I Hate TikTok Commenters
      • Locker Room Legislation 101: Why trans women never hurt you.
      • How Much I Love Cabbage
      • Why Appealing to a Man is Impossible: The Madonna-Whore Complex
      • Everything I hate about AI
    • Artist Corner >
      • Emotions
      • Bloom Art
      • Eye of Spring
      • Remind Me That I Am A Fool
    • Media Reviews
  • Featured Article
    • Why Appealing to a Man is Impossible: The Madonna-Whore Complex
  • Teacher's Corner
    • Teachers Corner: Everything is Not Real
    • Teachers Corner: How to Combat chatGPT? Embrace the Same Anti-Authoritarian Teaching Practices We Should’ve Been Doing All Along
    • Teacher's Corner: Mr. Hazzard's Love Letter To Brooks
    • Teacher's Corner: Gordon
    • Teacher's Corner: Wilde
    • Teacher's Corner: David
    • Teacher's Corner: Ejzak
    • Rago: I like to move it move it