Oh! Woe is me! I’m taking AP Calculus AB, and I do not know it very well! I am halfway into an APUSH unit, and I haven’t started my notes at all! Do I know Spanish? Un poco bit, I guess? And don't even get me started on this English essay that's due on Monday. It's like all of my poor study habits and comprehension skills are mixing together to form this huge pile of crap that is…
My apprehension for finals.
Because yes, we all know why finals are bad, and this article is in no way being written to defend them, believe that. But like…if I'm really considering how I’ve been functioning in my classes, it's not a stretch to say that if I fail my finals, it is definitely in large part due to me.
Well, at least, the "me" shaped by the crappy education system that we're somehow supposed to be operating in. Let me explain.
My apprehension for finals.
Because yes, we all know why finals are bad, and this article is in no way being written to defend them, believe that. But like…if I'm really considering how I’ve been functioning in my classes, it's not a stretch to say that if I fail my finals, it is definitely in large part due to me.
Well, at least, the "me" shaped by the crappy education system that we're somehow supposed to be operating in. Let me explain.
We’re working with a test-based education system that’s been around for almost forever. In this system, students are taught one thing, tested on that thing, and then taught another thing. Because of this, we tend to hyperfocus on learning the “thing” for the test, so we pick up habits like procrastinating until we have to cram, therefore memorizing the material for the test only, and not for actual knowledge retention. This means that when finals come around, we need to remember all of that stuff that we forgot, which becomes a problem the more stuff you add onto that load.
We’re also wracked by nerves by the time that finals roll around. We ask ourselves, “Oh my God, what if I fail and then I flunk out of high school and then someone tells me that I won’t never be nothing and then I’m doomed to a life that I hate, like working in retail?” …or something like that. We start to compartmentalize the information that we learned in class into “need to know” and “do not need to know” categories, obviously referring to tests. Because of this, we start to fear that we won’t guess correctly, and if we don’t guess correctly, we freeze and panic. Everything that we previously learned throughout each unit flies out of the window. We are, suddenly, a head with no brain, a brain with no thoughts.
We’re also wracked by nerves by the time that finals roll around. We ask ourselves, “Oh my God, what if I fail and then I flunk out of high school and then someone tells me that I won’t never be nothing and then I’m doomed to a life that I hate, like working in retail?” …or something like that. We start to compartmentalize the information that we learned in class into “need to know” and “do not need to know” categories, obviously referring to tests. Because of this, we start to fear that we won’t guess correctly, and if we don’t guess correctly, we freeze and panic. Everything that we previously learned throughout each unit flies out of the window. We are, suddenly, a head with no brain, a brain with no thoughts.
Students are conditioned to do as little as possible for maximum results (work smarter, not harder) and are often stressed about it because this thinking actually breeds more issues than if we just studied the material in order to grasp it. It’s an interesting thing. I mean, think about this:
Learning a new fact is fun. Learning a new skill is fun. But when you put it into an educational environment and attach a grade to it that determines your future, suddenly, it becomes a task. A tedious part of your life that you must suffer through to become the most successful human being possible.
School has sucked the fun out of learning. High school has become the personal Hell of many, many developing humans.
Learning a new fact is fun. Learning a new skill is fun. But when you put it into an educational environment and attach a grade to it that determines your future, suddenly, it becomes a task. A tedious part of your life that you must suffer through to become the most successful human being possible.
School has sucked the fun out of learning. High school has become the personal Hell of many, many developing humans.
How many times have you heard of someone having a hobby, just to have it tainted by the expectations placed upon them when they try to, say, make money off of it? I know of business owners who don’t take custom orders because dealing with people sucks the joy out of their interests. But in school, you don’t have this luxury.
You can’t take the hard part out of learning. Your GPA, your test scores -- all of that matters. If I walked into calculus right now and said, “Alright, I’m going to do Khan Academy problems on related rates, ask for help when I need it, and keep studying until I get good at it, but I’m not going to take the test because tests stress me out and make it harder for me to learn because I get worried that I’m not going to grasp the material before said tests,” I’d fail. I’d fail the class and I’d have to go to summer school.
The craziest part of all of this is that learning the material is not enough to pass your classes with high marks. Being able to function in a high pressure environment (like during a test that has no retakes and could make or break your grade at the very last minute) is ultimately what determines “how well” you’re doing in school.
And then, if I try my best and still can’t grasp it, I just… fail? I just have to retake the class? I’m just deemed not good enough to go to “top” universities?
It’s bullshit.
You can’t take the hard part out of learning. Your GPA, your test scores -- all of that matters. If I walked into calculus right now and said, “Alright, I’m going to do Khan Academy problems on related rates, ask for help when I need it, and keep studying until I get good at it, but I’m not going to take the test because tests stress me out and make it harder for me to learn because I get worried that I’m not going to grasp the material before said tests,” I’d fail. I’d fail the class and I’d have to go to summer school.
The craziest part of all of this is that learning the material is not enough to pass your classes with high marks. Being able to function in a high pressure environment (like during a test that has no retakes and could make or break your grade at the very last minute) is ultimately what determines “how well” you’re doing in school.
And then, if I try my best and still can’t grasp it, I just… fail? I just have to retake the class? I’m just deemed not good enough to go to “top” universities?
It’s bullshit.
High school’s personal Hell is making people feel like they have to meet certain criteria in order to feel worthy of validation, and it’s just so damaging. Our school atmosphere is filled with nerves washed clean in a river of tears. Even the best students are pulling at their hair, trying to hold out until the 22nd.
So when I say that if I fail my finals, it’s because of the “me” shaped by the crappy education system that we’re expected to operate in, by any means necessary, what I really mean is that each time my worth is determined by my ability to succeed in said education system (and eventually, the American workforce), my ability to power through and manage myself throughout this system is lessened until, inevitably, I fall short of the mark.
So when I say that if I fail my finals, it’s because of the “me” shaped by the crappy education system that we’re expected to operate in, by any means necessary, what I really mean is that each time my worth is determined by my ability to succeed in said education system (and eventually, the American workforce), my ability to power through and manage myself throughout this system is lessened until, inevitably, I fall short of the mark.
TRINITY jones
