Bellies swell, and stomachs turn up empty
And a clump of cells forms in my abandoned uterus
My Sweet Raspberry
Filling my barren life
Mine, all mine, every limb we grew together
But the bile sours my mouth
Every hurried trip to the bathroom, as you turn my bladder obsolete
Every ultrasound, as you turn and toss in the space I kept for you
And a clump of cells forms in my abandoned uterus
My Sweet Raspberry
Filling my barren life
Mine, all mine, every limb we grew together
But the bile sours my mouth
Every hurried trip to the bathroom, as you turn my bladder obsolete
Every ultrasound, as you turn and toss in the space I kept for you
My Soft Pear
Can you hear me picking your name?
Painting your nursery the shade of joy
Or maybe blue, a strong male heir for your grandmother
My Wild Mango
I feel your honeyed soul expand
Leaving mountain valleys in its wake, deep and purple
But honey invites bees, and they sting every inch of my skin
Embedding their poison
My Ripe Papaya
Eager to be harvested
Before the insects arrive
And burrow their way in your soft flesh
Before the inside rots
and molds on the soft grass
Can you hear me picking your name?
Painting your nursery the shade of joy
Or maybe blue, a strong male heir for your grandmother
My Wild Mango
I feel your honeyed soul expand
Leaving mountain valleys in its wake, deep and purple
But honey invites bees, and they sting every inch of my skin
Embedding their poison
My Ripe Papaya
Eager to be harvested
Before the insects arrive
And burrow their way in your soft flesh
Before the inside rots
and molds on the soft grass
My Dearest Watermelon
Skin red, eyes swollen shut
Screaming and crying, they lay you on my skin
Sticky and soiled from labor, you demand more
Every ounce of strength in me, you require
Every second of every night, you insist
Pure and utter devotion
Expected and traditional sacrifice
Every bone, from my femur to my incus
But I would be called selfish for wanting to keep my stapes
hidden in a desecrated music box
Skin red, eyes swollen shut
Screaming and crying, they lay you on my skin
Sticky and soiled from labor, you demand more
Every ounce of strength in me, you require
Every second of every night, you insist
Pure and utter devotion
Expected and traditional sacrifice
Every bone, from my femur to my incus
But I would be called selfish for wanting to keep my stapes
hidden in a desecrated music box
Staring back, I recognize the eyes of a different life
Holding a clean bowl, begging for more
For your own good, I was taught
Spare the rod, spoil the child
Discipline, obedience, silence
Respect is due to elders, and failure is unacceptable
And as my anger rises with my hand
I look back
To see a younger version, sprawled out on the floor
Back blue and black
Praying and begging God for a soft life
She holds my child, shaking, unable to recognize the person before her
Holding a clean bowl, begging for more
For your own good, I was taught
Spare the rod, spoil the child
Discipline, obedience, silence
Respect is due to elders, and failure is unacceptable
And as my anger rises with my hand
I look back
To see a younger version, sprawled out on the floor
Back blue and black
Praying and begging God for a soft life
She holds my child, shaking, unable to recognize the person before her
Who promised never to raise her voice,
To spare even a distasteful, sideways glance
Pleading, for the belt in my hand,
For the person who is supposed to love her,
To spare even a distasteful, sideways glance
Pleading, for the belt in my hand,
For the person who is supposed to love her,
To show her mercy,
Mercy she vowed her child would never ask for
But I could be a mother.
I want to be a good mother.
Mercy she vowed her child would never ask for
But I could be a mother.
I want to be a good mother.
