From afar.
Yearning is a feeling i've grown fond of
It keeps me in one place like the binding of a book
Away from the tears of refusal
Away from the pain of embarrassment
Away from the slow searing consumption of another
Away from the forged warmth that people rave about
Away from affection that could never be recounted
I've chosen to love from afar.
Bouquets of snapdragons have been thrown my way out of boredom
But i have never been presented the gifts of liliums in full bloom
I've rummaged my nails through the soil for so long, to the point they no longer seem real
So as before
I've had to force myself to love from afar.
I am a divinity with unconventional methods
Withered flowers have become the most beautiful to me
As i cannot allow myself to let their memories go
I have devoured the writings of the humble to avoid the ache of delusion
My fingers are embedded into the strings of a guitar, in hopes of finding a new melody
Finding unthought of pastimes in solitude to elude my concept of mutual intimacy
I have reluctantly loved from afar.
Today was supposed to be like any other
Ignoring the thrashing within me, begging to be freed
But alas i've opened my eyes to a double lily adjacent to my heart
Shock has consumed me
Just as quickly as denial
Reaching my hands out to the soft petals in attempt to rip them apart
They are imperishable, yet i still fight
I fight until i have no choice but to let it be
I can only hope i haven't descended into madness
I can only hope that it will be here when i wake
Must I still love from afar?
I come alive day by day
Only to notice that a second lily has bloomed
Yet this time, I don't fight
No longer under the impression i wont see it again
I'm amused by its presence
I will not let such beauty perish now that it's so near
I've allowed my heart to take over without fear of abandonment
And with that, my flowers have interlaced
My techniques can be shared without the past stopping me
Starting today
I won't love from afar any longer.
Yearning is a feeling i've grown fond of
It keeps me in one place like the binding of a book
Away from the tears of refusal
Away from the pain of embarrassment
Away from the slow searing consumption of another
Away from the forged warmth that people rave about
Away from affection that could never be recounted
I've chosen to love from afar.
Bouquets of snapdragons have been thrown my way out of boredom
But i have never been presented the gifts of liliums in full bloom
I've rummaged my nails through the soil for so long, to the point they no longer seem real
So as before
I've had to force myself to love from afar.
I am a divinity with unconventional methods
Withered flowers have become the most beautiful to me
As i cannot allow myself to let their memories go
I have devoured the writings of the humble to avoid the ache of delusion
My fingers are embedded into the strings of a guitar, in hopes of finding a new melody
Finding unthought of pastimes in solitude to elude my concept of mutual intimacy
I have reluctantly loved from afar.
Today was supposed to be like any other
Ignoring the thrashing within me, begging to be freed
But alas i've opened my eyes to a double lily adjacent to my heart
Shock has consumed me
Just as quickly as denial
Reaching my hands out to the soft petals in attempt to rip them apart
They are imperishable, yet i still fight
I fight until i have no choice but to let it be
I can only hope i haven't descended into madness
I can only hope that it will be here when i wake
Must I still love from afar?
I come alive day by day
Only to notice that a second lily has bloomed
Yet this time, I don't fight
No longer under the impression i wont see it again
I'm amused by its presence
I will not let such beauty perish now that it's so near
I've allowed my heart to take over without fear of abandonment
And with that, my flowers have interlaced
My techniques can be shared without the past stopping me
Starting today
I won't love from afar any longer.
Alexandrea Suggs
