Now, I’m not one to make big promises, but I can tell you for SURE that this recipe is the only DoorDash Recipe you will ever need. Easy and delicious, this simple recipe is guaranteed to work out for even the most beginner of home chefs, and can even be whipped up on the go if you’re short on ingredients or counter space.
Back in 1912, my great-great-grandmother struggled to find new recipes to satisfy her husband and children who had grown tired of eating plain pasta and tomato sauce every single day. Desperate to find new foods to cook, she decided to buy some cookbooks from the local bookstore. She soon realized that these books contained so many delicious recipes that she would never be able to cook all of them in her lifetime. After a few months of pondering and planning the best way to make these recipes, she decided to purchase another book: Modern Full Stack Web Development by Frank Zammetti.
With her newly acquired proficiency in languages such as React, TypeScript and NodeJS, she started development on a new application that would allow anyone in the world to access any type of food they wanted from their favorite restaurants (all of the development at this point was on paper of course, because computers weren’t a thing yet).
Sadly, the project was never finished before she died, and most future generations refused to take up the torch on finalizing her work, instead just grumbling something about how food delivery services were “communist” and “democrat propaganda”. Finally, in January of 2013, the project was finally finished and named DoorDash. The service was a MASSIVE hit with the American public, while representatives from GrubHub were trying to figure out what the heck happened to their entire user base. And now dear reader, you can use the original recipe for yourself! Now enough of my rambling, here are the exact instructions that will allow you to make your very own food using the original Doordash recipe!
With her newly acquired proficiency in languages such as React, TypeScript and NodeJS, she started development on a new application that would allow anyone in the world to access any type of food they wanted from their favorite restaurants (all of the development at this point was on paper of course, because computers weren’t a thing yet).
Sadly, the project was never finished before she died, and most future generations refused to take up the torch on finalizing her work, instead just grumbling something about how food delivery services were “communist” and “democrat propaganda”. Finally, in January of 2013, the project was finally finished and named DoorDash. The service was a MASSIVE hit with the American public, while representatives from GrubHub were trying to figure out what the heck happened to their entire user base. And now dear reader, you can use the original recipe for yourself! Now enough of my rambling, here are the exact instructions that will allow you to make your very own food using the original Doordash recipe!
Doordash Recipe (Prep time: 3-60 min depending on if you and the person you are with can decide what to order or not. Serves up to as many people as the app will let you order for)
Ingredients:
1 electronic device
1 internet connection
1 human being (optional, could substitute with a very hungry robot)
1 electronic device
1 internet connection
1 human being (optional, could substitute with a very hungry robot)
Recipe:
Step 1: Sign in to the doordash application, or use the website.
Step 2: Spend at least half an hour debating about what kind of food to order. Chef be warned: this debate may escalate into violence/ Researchers find this is most likely when it is between incredibly fancy sushi and the cheapest tacos you could possibly order. We are still not sure why.
Step 3: When you have finally chosen what you want to order, add it to your cart and go to checkout.
Step 4: Enter all your valuable personal information such as your address and credit card number into the handy little boxes for some college student working a minimum wage job to see.
Step 5: Finalize the information and order the food.
Step 6: Wait while pondering if it would have been easier to just go to the dang restaurant.
Step 7: If by this time your delivery person hasn’t been arrested (or worse, eaten your food), they should call you and ask where to drop off your order. Make sure to dress up before retrieving your food, because they will immediately take a picture to prove you have received your order. Try striking a pose, or using some fancy lighting!
Step 8: Finally, take your food inside to eat. Congratulations, dear reader, you have now made your very own DoorDash order!
P.S. If you want some free entertainment along with your order, order the same thing from both DoorDash and Uber Eats, timing it so that the orders show up at the same time. Then, watch the battle ensue.
Step 1: Sign in to the doordash application, or use the website.
Step 2: Spend at least half an hour debating about what kind of food to order. Chef be warned: this debate may escalate into violence/ Researchers find this is most likely when it is between incredibly fancy sushi and the cheapest tacos you could possibly order. We are still not sure why.
Step 3: When you have finally chosen what you want to order, add it to your cart and go to checkout.
Step 4: Enter all your valuable personal information such as your address and credit card number into the handy little boxes for some college student working a minimum wage job to see.
Step 5: Finalize the information and order the food.
Step 6: Wait while pondering if it would have been easier to just go to the dang restaurant.
Step 7: If by this time your delivery person hasn’t been arrested (or worse, eaten your food), they should call you and ask where to drop off your order. Make sure to dress up before retrieving your food, because they will immediately take a picture to prove you have received your order. Try striking a pose, or using some fancy lighting!
Step 8: Finally, take your food inside to eat. Congratulations, dear reader, you have now made your very own DoorDash order!
P.S. If you want some free entertainment along with your order, order the same thing from both DoorDash and Uber Eats, timing it so that the orders show up at the same time. Then, watch the battle ensue.
*This article is a joke. It is not intended to be taken seriously by any means.*
