Being an older sibling sucks. I don’t care what anybody says. The treatment that is given to older siblings compared to younger siblings is insane. Now it could be that my own experiences are really creating my biased viewpoint, but I feel like every older sibling understands most of my key reasons on why it sucks.
You're pressured to be the example
For me, ever since my sisters were born, I was told that I was the big role model for them. That meant to me that I just had to be perfect. I could have no flaws and if I did, I would get in trouble. Big trouble. Especially when it came to school. It sucked and made most of the childhood memories I had filled with stress. I was always worrying about what my report card would say. I would cry any time I couldn't comprehend something in school. I automatically assumed that if I didn't know the answers to the questions that I was stupid. I would spend countless all nighters stressing over projects, making sure they were perfect. Now, maybe that is a good thing since now all I strive for is success and perfection. But at the same time that's WAY too much stress to put onto someone who’s in the 2nd grade. And yet it seemed like even with me being a “perfect” role model, it did nothing for my siblings.
For me, ever since my sisters were born, I was told that I was the big role model for them. That meant to me that I just had to be perfect. I could have no flaws and if I did, I would get in trouble. Big trouble. Especially when it came to school. It sucked and made most of the childhood memories I had filled with stress. I was always worrying about what my report card would say. I would cry any time I couldn't comprehend something in school. I automatically assumed that if I didn't know the answers to the questions that I was stupid. I would spend countless all nighters stressing over projects, making sure they were perfect. Now, maybe that is a good thing since now all I strive for is success and perfection. But at the same time that's WAY too much stress to put onto someone who’s in the 2nd grade. And yet it seemed like even with me being a “perfect” role model, it did nothing for my siblings.
The difference in punishment
Like I said, me being a “perfect” role model had no effects on my siblings. They would get just decent grades even with my help. So while I would be trying to maintain my straight As, they would get straight Cs. It was so annoying seeing them get absolutely no punishment. I remember the one time I got a C on my progress report, my parents lost their minds, and I was punished for MONTHS. Yet my sisters have had Cs, Ds, and even one time an F on their report cards and get no computer for a week. I could never understand how that was ever fair. I was forever jealous that my sisters could just be OK with getting those grades since they weren’t even receiving an extreme punishment. The different levels in punishments when it comes to older vs younger siblings always seem so extreme. Making being an older sibling sucky.
Like I said, me being a “perfect” role model had no effects on my siblings. They would get just decent grades even with my help. So while I would be trying to maintain my straight As, they would get straight Cs. It was so annoying seeing them get absolutely no punishment. I remember the one time I got a C on my progress report, my parents lost their minds, and I was punished for MONTHS. Yet my sisters have had Cs, Ds, and even one time an F on their report cards and get no computer for a week. I could never understand how that was ever fair. I was forever jealous that my sisters could just be OK with getting those grades since they weren’t even receiving an extreme punishment. The different levels in punishments when it comes to older vs younger siblings always seem so extreme. Making being an older sibling sucky.
Whatever they want, they can get
I will say, though: I would be able to get a lot of different things when I was younger. And don’t get me wrong: my sisters have had to get hand me downs because of me. However, there have been times that I have had to stop what I'm doing so that they can have a better time. I have had to cancel my plans or stop going to things because of their comfort levels. I hated that I had to stop going to a summer camp that I loved just because they couldn’t make friends. I hated that I couldn't hang out with friends super long because they were tired and they wanted to go home. Eventually it got better with time, but still: why is it that I have to put my fun on hold for them? It just makes them so entitled to do whatever they want.
I will say, though: I would be able to get a lot of different things when I was younger. And don’t get me wrong: my sisters have had to get hand me downs because of me. However, there have been times that I have had to stop what I'm doing so that they can have a better time. I have had to cancel my plans or stop going to things because of their comfort levels. I hated that I had to stop going to a summer camp that I loved just because they couldn’t make friends. I hated that I couldn't hang out with friends super long because they were tired and they wanted to go home. Eventually it got better with time, but still: why is it that I have to put my fun on hold for them? It just makes them so entitled to do whatever they want.
Now I won't sit here and act like being an older siblings doesn’t have perks. I will say I’m happy I don’t get hand me downs. But overall, the pros DO NOT outweigh the cons.
Nevertheless, I still am happy I am an older sibling. I’ve learned a lot from it. For example: I’m never having kids. But on a serious note, without my sisters, I think my life would’ve been extremely boring. As much as they annoy me, they do make me laugh sometimes. I could never tell them that, though. They would keep that with them forever.
Nevertheless, I still am happy I am an older sibling. I’ve learned a lot from it. For example: I’m never having kids. But on a serious note, without my sisters, I think my life would’ve been extremely boring. As much as they annoy me, they do make me laugh sometimes. I could never tell them that, though. They would keep that with them forever.
Maya Terry
