to have an expectation 
is like going on Mission Impossible 
even if i’m not to blame for a mishap
i have to take on the brunt of each hit
i’m tired
the world is just getting heavier 
while my shoulders are belittled and mocked by its weight 
life is supposed to be at its easiest, right?
adults say it all the time
but i dig and dig
the dirt and grime of my memories 
build underneath my nails
and i still can’t uncover a single time where living was easy.
i’m tired
i’m so tired of adding more waste to my world
polluting it with stress and worry
and frustration
a single day of peace seems so out of reach
that somehow to even daydream it
is the same as reading fictional fantasy 
as every wish blown away with disappointment and my plans have to bend to the flow of others
i bottle up
and then the world spills over 
i’m tired 
of holding lands of broken dreams and seas of despair 
on my weakened back.

PEYTON HENDERSON-HOWELL